<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>After a Thousand Paper Cranes were Made by ExpressingAmericano</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27145024">After a Thousand Paper Cranes were Made</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExpressingAmericano/pseuds/ExpressingAmericano'>ExpressingAmericano</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Depression, Dysfunctional Family, Family Issues, Forgiveness, Guilt, Implied Sexual Content, Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru Don't Grow Up Together, Japanese Beliefs/ Legends Reference, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Oikawa Tooru-centric, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Thousand Paper Cranes/ Senbazuru Legend Reference</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:54:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27145024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExpressingAmericano/pseuds/ExpressingAmericano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When everything seems to be nonsense anymore, even himself, Tooru wandered inside a lonely and serene forest - barefooted while pulling along the ground his thousand black and white paper crane chains behind him. Suddenly finding the right place to do it, he conditions himself as he is about to defy the serenity of the forest with his act, thousand paper cranes as his only witnesses and companions, he closed his eyes until... a raven-haired man pulled him whose eyes resemble his cat at home.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Implied Hanamaki Takahiro/ Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. PROLOGUE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>PLEASE READ for a PREFACE and some DISCLAIMERS!!<br/>This is the first time that I’m going to write a fic about a non-kpop idol/ an anime character. The idea to write this work happened on a whim while I'm overwhelmed by a great hatred for thousands of reasons. As I got drowned by hatred and eventually, sadness, I came up with this plot. </p><p>PLEASE READ THE TAGS BEFORE STARTING!!</p><p>Disclaimers:<br/>1. I love IwaOi and BokuAka the most among the hq ships and somehow, the IwaOi combination suits the plot so I’ll be using them so I can express the emotions more.<br/>2. Plot is based on a real-life story but I added more twists into it. Nonetheless, it's still more of a Fiction.<br/>3. Tags will continually be added as I update the chapters. If you discern that a certain tag shall be added, kindly inform me "politely" in the comments section.<br/>4. Updates will be irregular but, I will definitely finish it.<br/>5. English isn't my first language and despite I, proofreading them more than once, some grammatical errors may still occur and I have none to trust in proofreading my works. I apologize in advance.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Today I finally finished my thousand paper cranes, both black and white.</em>
</p><p>Emotionless eyes surrounded with dark circles, walking alone as he pulls the thousand crane chains along the ground. A thousand origamis made by Tooru out of vague reasons, previously kept inside his former volleyball club’s duffel bag which he left at the entrance of the forest. Connected by an old red thread, probably a crochet thread, he found inside his older sister’s sewing kit that was left alone and forgotten when she started to have her work.</p><p>He continued to wander as if the eerie but serene forest tries to lure him deeper into its depths, not remembering how or when did he get here, all he remembers is that he started walking out of their house from noon – barefooted.</p><p>Wandering his tired eyes, he tries to appreciate the forest which probably will be the last scenery that he will ever see. He saw how the robust trees’ trunks looked twisted while their roots continued winding on the forest floor like how the threads end up when his mongrel cat, Kai-chan played with her older sister’s spools of threads.</p><p>He smiled as he remembers his cat. “Will she forgive me?” Tooru asked himself.</p><p>“Will <em>she</em> forgive me?” He repeated, now pertaining to her older sister.</p><p>As he continues to walk deeper into the forest, he heard streams of water flowing nearby so, he followed the sound.</p><p>
  <em>Ah… Great timing. Forgive me nature for I, the so-called great Oikawa Tooru will defy your serenity. Don’t worry… I am nothing but a useless existence, my value isn’t that great to fully defy you but…my permanent disappearance will cause great happiness to the others.</em>
</p><p>When he reached the stream, he stood just at the side of it. He looked down and saw such a clear reflection of him, ignoring how dark the water seems; a sign that it is indeed deep. For him, he looked so pathetic, selfish, and lonely.</p><p>
  <em>How can someone like me be called beautiful for a thousand times… when I lived like this?<br/>
How can people around me, who barely know me loved me when the people who lived with me always hated me? How can someone like me be gifted and cursed at the same time?</em>
</p><p>Closing his eyes and spreading his arms, one hand holding his thousand black and white paper cranes chain, he finally took a deep breath.</p><p><em>This is nonsense. I am nonsense.</em><br/>
<br/>
After that, he felt his body became heavy as if his own body chose to abandon all senses and just fall under the influence of the earth’s gravity. Yet a faint sound was heard, probably a few meters away from him.</p><p> </p><p>“Oi- ” a faint voice called out for him, which he could not care about.</p><p> </p><p> So, it is true that if someone is dying, the sense of hearing is the last sense to get lost but I haven't hit the stream yet though, have I?</p><p> </p><p>“Oi!”</p><p> </p><p>The voice called out again, together with increasing sounds of twigs breaking and the rustling of leaves. A calloused and a little bit sweaty hand grabbed his forearm that prevented him from falling. Alerted, he opened his eyes and whipped his neck towards the sudden unknown presence that interrupted him.</p><p>When he looked at the unknown guy, his eyes were met with a pair of big eyes with olive green irises, which shape resembles his cat’s eyes, Kai-chan. He examined the guy’s face; thicker than normal eyebrows furrowed in the middle which then made him look next on his not-so-pointy-but-just-right nose.</p><p>“Oi. I-…”</p><p>“Hmm?” Tooru beamed, putting up the face he usually shows the people around. That face when he looks both interested and smug at the same time.</p><p>“I-… I’m lost. Can you show me the way out?”</p><p>The raven-haired asked as he rubs his nape in embarrassment but the furrow he had on his forehead, continued to deepen.</p><p>"O-Okay… I'll lead you there." Tooru answered and put on a fake smile.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m still a new ff author here, and my last work kinda flopped. It somehow gave me the anxiety to continue writing the next book (but still planning to continue and improve the next book of my previous work – different fandom, but I need time, confidence, and ideas).<br/>I will write my other ideas someday here (still thinking which fandom suits them) and I hope that somehow my writing skills improved.</p><p>Again, if you discern that a certain tag shall be added, kindly inform me "politely" in the comments section.</p><p>Until the next chapter. Ciao.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 1 - The Obstinate River</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: if you are one of the people who read the PROLOGUE last October 22, 2020 (KST, so Thursday), I EDITED it but the meaning stays the same, yet I still encourage you to re-read it. I apologize for this.</p><p>Trigger Warning: I’m not sure if the nightmare can be triggering, but better warn than I end up triggering anyone, right? Mentions of flashy lights, suffocation, broken glasses, and blood during the nightmare part at the end of this chapter.</p><p>_<br/>Btw, I would like to share some facts/ experiences I had while writing every chapters, I think it's quite fun sharing them to you but it is optional to read them though!! Also, I might write important notes/ clarifications at the end from time to time so, still check them.</p><p>I added Tags!!</p><p>Kudos, Comments and Constructive Criticisms are highly appreciated!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“As expected from Tooru!” his classmate exclaimed when he got awarded as the best setter among all middle schools in Miyagi.</p><p>He hugged the framed certificate; feeling elated and proud. Not giving a care if he might look simple-minded by getting too happy over receiving a simple thing or if he might look boastful to some insecure students. He got what he worked hard for.</p><p>He rushed through their house’s main door, too excited to announce about the great achievement he just got at school.</p><p>“Fuck you-“</p><p>The first words that echoed inside as he slips off his shoes and wears his indoor pink slippers.</p><p>“Fuck you and all your filthy relatives. You all deserve to die!”</p><p>Tooru’s mom cursed as she kept hitting her chest, not caring if the neighbors would hear. He saw his older brother rushed to their mom’s side to stop her from hurting herself more while his older sister cries at the horrendous sight of their mom.</p><p>He clutched onto his precious certificate then went silently inside his bedroom. He took a few moments to choose a perfect place where to display the frame. The simple framed certificate ended up being displayed just across his bed, hoping it will greet him the first time he opens his eyes.</p><p>Faint curses still echo outside his bedroom. He leaped onto his bed landing on his stomach while he grabs his pillow, only to use it to cover his head. He inhaled the familiar smell of his sheets; how comforting even just for a little bit.</p><p>Not that he doesn't care, but he already got fed up with his dad's cheatings and her mom's embarrassing rants. Besides, his siblings are there to comfort and stop them from getting overboard, he doesn't need to involve himself anymore. Why would he empathize or even try to choose sides? His dad cheated and her mom is a loud siren; that's it.</p>
<hr/><p>Graduated with consistent high honors and outstanding club performance, it is not a surprise that he got a scholarship and later on, became the Team Captain in his second year at high school.</p><p>“Kyaaaaaaa! It’s Oikawa-senpai!”</p><p>the usual group of Oikawa’s fangirls started to flood the cafeteria when he was about to buy his favorite food, Milk Bread.</p><p>“Yo~Ho!” He chirped, smiling sweetly to his fangirls as he waves his hand.</p><p>“Oikawa-senpai, you don’t need to get in nor buy it anymore.”</p><p>“Oikawa-san~ we already bought them for you, here!” the fangirls stretched out their hands.</p><p>It is a lie if he will say that he isn't aware of how he becomes the instant star wherever he goes, it's normal. Whenever fans asked for pictures with him, he complies and shows his famous peace sign, tongue sticking out, and left eye wink pose.</p><p>Whenever it’s dismissal time, discovering gifts inside his shoe’s locker, both from known and anonymous people is normal. Rejecting is rude, and it’s free, why would he want to not receive them?</p>
<hr/><p>One day a practice match with an unknown high school leads to an unexpected result. Sweaty tired bodies headed towards their club room right after they bid their greetings to their opponents. He thought about how can someone who lost pathetically be thankful? Will anyone be happy when they lost?</p><p>Lips pressed together, jaw clenched tightly and an eminent wrinkle on his forehead; there is no way that he will be thankful for losing.</p><p>“I purposely spiked those balls out of the bounds…”</p><p>He heard a teammate murmured to one of their teammates.</p><p>“The fuck, dude? Oikawa-san will be so pissed if he ever knew. So that’s why your spikes look awkward, it’s impossible for us to miss Oikawa-san’s accurate tosses. You know his face was so annoyed a while ago.” another teammate snickered.</p><p>"Serves him right. All the glory goes to him as if he is the only teammate we have. What about us? Besides, his fangirls are getting more annoying every time they came. It distracts me."<br/>
<br/>
If there is one constant thing about Tooru, he wanted to win, especially if he values it and this is Volleyball. He couldn't believe what he heard from one of his teammates; after doing his best to be their Team Captain and aimed to improve the team, the fact that they could've won the practice match a while ago taints a bitter taste in his mouth. It's not the first time he heard someone spout hate about him but hearing it from a teammate technically hurts. It might just be a simple backstabbing but that will not change the fact that he got betrayed.</p><p>“So, what will Oikawa-san know that will piss him off?” he asked while leaning on the door with crossed arms.</p><p>The said teammate who happened to be a kouhai, cursed at his breath. He met his captain's eyes; they were on fire even though he wore a smirk.</p><p>“Oikawa-san, I-…”</p><p>"Nah. Just shut that mouth of yours. Why not instead of being the scaredy-cat — like what you acted on the court — focus more on your practice? Besides, you still suck at doing cross-shots, your serves were still sloppy and your movements are too predictable for the opponent's blockers to read, and that's not just during today's practice match. Volleyball isn't only about straight shots and having fangirls. Volleyball is a sport where we hit the ball to score and win."</p><p>“Oikawa!”</p><p>Hanamaki, whose eyes are shaking in fear, grabbed his arm. Veins pulsing in Tooru’s neck and temple as he glared at his kouhai.</p><p>“Oikawa, calm down. Take a deep breath.” Hanamaki whispered then he gestured the other kouhais to bring out of the room the scared Kouhai who was about to get punched in the face.</p><p>He closed his eyes and inhaled. A young image of him crying, locked inside a dark room flashed on his mind. His chest tightened.</p><p>“M-Makki…”</p><p>“I’m here. I heard it. I understand.” The light brown-haired guy embraced his captain.</p><p>Warm tears streamed down his flushed cheeks; he tightened his arms around Hanamaki inhaling the familiar scent of his only close friend. Sobbing and breath hitching but he doesn’t want to fully give in.</p><p>“I-…I’m just- ”</p><p>“Sobbing and not ugly crying. I know, I know.” His friend caressed his soft brunette hair; one of the ways to calm him down.</p><p>After a few minutes of trying not to "ugly cry", he washed his face at the sink. Someone knocked on the bathroom door so, Hanamaki opened it and talked to the person.</p><p>“I don’t know if that will be a good idea…” he heard his friend said to the person outside.</p><p>He took a deep breath and exhaled. Psyched up himself in front of the mirror, as he checks if his eyes are sore nor any snot is coming out of his nose. Losing his temper earlier won’t be a reason to wear a defeated face.</p><p>“I’m Oikawa Tooru, an obstinate river who only aims to win. I’m strong and no matter what, the river in me will continue to flow. My obstinate pride will keep my chin up.”</p><p>He went outside and smiled at the person behind the door – it was that kouhai.</p><p>“Oikawa-san, I’m-“</p><p>“It’s fine now. Just focus to develop your cross-shots and improve your serves. If you will be persistent about that childish reasoning you just spouted earlier, then I won’t be needing you in the court.” Emphasizing the last words as he grabs his duffel bag. “Makki ~ the great Oikawa-san is going home now~ ”</p>
<hr/><p>That night, he fell asleep into a nightmare.</p><p>
  <em>He opened his eyes and found nothing but darkness. Lying down on a cold floor, he smelled a mixture of rotten garbage and a hint of rust. A freezing breeze made him shiver as he expects the unexpected. He walked, but it became impossible with wobbling knees so, he crawled until he hit on a sturdy wall. He tensed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A sturdy wall slid upward that hit his side, then on the other side, and lastly, behind him. As the nothingness swallowed him, moving became restricted; it becomes suffocating.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A faint voice from the other side of the walls echoed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“He-… Hel-..p!” voice choking as the space he is in gets narrower.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then annoying radio statics were heard around him and the scene became so fast as if he is riding a sports car. Lights flashed in various directions, making it too painful for his eyes to stay open. The radio statics becomes louder and in between, he heard words such as "D-..do you s-s…till l…ove m-..mom?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A glass cracked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"D-..do… you... s-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The glass shattered; all noises stopped. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A deafening silence started to creep around him as he visions the darkness being embraced by the light.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Have you gone numb?” a hoarse voice of a grieving woman asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Who is that?” he asked himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Have you gone numb?!” this time, a voice of a man roared.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>More glasses shattered. Where are they?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He covered his ears and crouched at his place hoping everything will come to an end. When he opened his eyes, his eyes widened. Shards piercing his soles as blood oozes, yet he felt nothing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Have I gone numb?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Pathetic,” someone whispered.</em>
</p><p>Then he woke up, heart beating fast, and felt the room is too cold than usual.</p><p>
  <em>I shouldn't have left my fan open while using the air conditioner.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Facts about my work:<br/>1. I got goosebumps when I learned that Oikawa (及川) means “reaching out the river” (the 及 means “reach out” and the “川” means Stream) while Tooru (徹) means “To go through”. That suicidal attempt on PROLOGUE, which was about to be committed in a Stream was pure coincidence.<br/>Sources for the nomenclatures: <a href="https://culturetour.net/japanese-last-names/oikawa277">Meaning of the Surname Oikawa</a>, <a href="https://haikyuu.fandom.com/wiki/T%C5%8Dru_Oikawa">Meaning of Oikawa Tooru</a></p><p>2. Oikawa’s cat’s nickname was supposed to be “Ka-chan” but in order to not sound/ look like BNHA’s Kacchan, I used “Kai-chan” instead. Meaning behind this name will be revealed in the future chapters.</p><p>3. Chapter one is inspired by Iwaizumi’s first name, Hajime “一” which means One, while Oikawa’s first name, Tooru “徹” which means “To go through/ exert/ exercise” = The Obstinate (一徹) River (川). Hence, "Obstinate" here means that Oikawa is stubborn both in a positive and negative way - I will try my best to further show this trait in the future chapters. Please do not misinterpret the word.<br/>Source: <a href="https://haikyuu.fandom.com/wiki/T%C5%8Dru_Oikawa">Meaning of Hajime &amp; Tooru</a></p><p>4. “Cold surroundings may trigger nightmares” has no enough scientific evidence afaik (might change this when I finally see a legit research about it) BUT I usually get nightmares when it is colder than the usual cold temp that relaxes me – yes, I’m the type to use my AC and fan at the same time unless there’s a typhoon. Yet sometimes I wonder if this experience is due to my unconscious mind mixing up my previous events before I sleep. Anyway, dreams are such an interesting topic for me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 2 - One of the Few Reasons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I have decided to update 2 chapters for all of you tonight!</p><p>When I was writing these chapters, I just went with the flow of what I had at that moment, then read them repeatedly for days (even before posting it here) and I know mistakes may still be present.<br/>BUT you know what? Chapter 3 made my tongue twist, and can I say that my fingers also twisted??? Like yk, my fingers felt like having tongue twisters just buy spelling "that" word.</p><p>I added tags!</p><p>Kudos, Comments &amp; Constructive Criticisms are highly appreciated!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What happened to the great Oikawa-san?” Hanamaki teased, carefully approaching Tooru who has a deep furrow on his forehead and lips pouted, sitting at their usual spot on Seijoh’s rooftop. “You seemed agitated and tensed for the last few months. ‘sup on that?”</p><p>“Tch.” Tooru rolled his eyes, clutched his knees then rest his head on them. “Not now, Makki.”</p><p>“You know, you can always rely on me."</p><p>Tooru thought for a while then pouted, but then found Hanamaki moved to the side where he is facing, grinning at him.</p><p>“If you keep on pouting, I’m gonna kiss you.”</p><p>“Shut up, Makki!! Read the room!”</p><p>“Only if you stop overworking for the next practices. Don’t think I don’t notice your antics, even if you are our team captain, outside that gym, you will always be my bestie.”</p><p>The light-brown haired guy started to open the small container of Profiteroles that he bought from the cafeteria. He watched his friend’s usual bored face turned bright as he enjoys his favorite food.</p><p>“Here” Hanamaki offered him the cafeteria’s milk bread. “Don’t you get tired of that?”</p><p>“Comes from the bitch that eats at least one pack of P-..Pro.. Profi… whatever is that called, a day!”</p><p>“Hey, I don’t<strong> j u s t  e a t</strong> Profiteroles, I also ea-…”</p><p>“Nope. I’m fine, Makki. I don’t need to hear what other things you eat.”</p><p>“So. Rude. Oikawa.”</p><p>His friend licked lewdly the cream that stained the side of his lips to annoy the brunette more. The brunette indeed got more annoyed thinking what is his friend doing here. At one moment, he is concerned about him, and at one point, his about to spit lewdness.</p><p>“Anyways, how’s that tall guy you are dating? Is he also a volleyball player?”</p><p>“Matsukawa, you mean?”</p><p>“Matsu-, what? Makki, don’t expect me to memorize your list… it doesn’t stop adding names.”</p><p>“Oikawa, first, we aren’t dating… yet” an irritated expression painted the light brown-haired Profiteroles lover “and second, my list will SOON stop adding names.”</p><p>“Oh c’mon, Makki!! Don't tell me you are planning-" the brunette teased as he took his first bite of his milk bread.</p><p>“STFU. YES, I’m planning on finding my man and stop collecting. I was initially planning on that. How about you? When are you getting laid, great Oikawa-san?” The light brown-haired smirked.</p><p>“You really asking me?”</p><p>“Stop lying, you were never satisfied with those previous students you got laid on before.” After finishing one Profiteroles, now with hooded eyes, he leaned closer, “Why not try it again?” then he patted Tooru’s soft brunette hair. “But only if you are ready.”</p><p>How boring would it be if this bitch isn’t on my side? Tooru thought.</p>
<hr/><p>His nights must be hating on him. The same nightmare last month tortured his supposed beauty rests for the last few weeks. This time it's in a different setting and more terrifying.</p><p>His eyes snapped open, breathing profusely while his limbs felt numb.</p><p>
  <em>Have I really gotten numb?!</em>
</p><p>He took the courage to roam his eyes, looking around if the same horror followed him in his bedroom, only to see the green neon light radiating from his alarm clock shows “4:00 am”; sleep will take time to engulf him. Either that is good news or not, he felt relieved knowing the torture ended, did it?</p><p>He frowned at the sight of his window blinds opened, so first, he turned on his lamp before shutting the blinds. He grabbed his laptop from his desk and started binge-watching some replays of the high school matches from the previous years.</p><p>When his wifi started acting up, the pop-up notice about his battery's life also showed on the screen. When he's done setting up his laptop's charger, the wifi connection became decent again. About to click the play button, he noticed the player that is shown where the clip paused.</p><p>The player has spiky raven hair and his body, though taller than the average but shorter than him, looked well-toned. He cursed upon discovering that the maximum quality available is 360 pixels, and the said high school is also not that famous, therefore having very few views; he feels sorry for the people missing this amazing match. Adding more to his frustrations, the only available angle is just them playing across the uploader's view, and when it’s time to change courts, the clip ended.</p><p>
  <em>I wonder if that player could get better? I would love to try having a match with a spiker like him, though I know I can bring out more of his potential if I’m his setter.</em>
</p><p>He continued to wonder. Will that player be a future teammate? What would be Seijoh’s team be like once he retired? Will the situation at his home worsen? What does he truly like in this life?</p><p><em>Why not try it again? But only if you are ready</em>.</p><p>Hanamaki’s words echoed in his mind.</p><p>“Oh Makki, if it is only that easy for me." muttering as he continues to browse the internet.  After a few minutes, he fell into a deep sleep, not expecting another nightmare for the second time.</p><p>
  <em>“Do you still love mom?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Not anymore."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>It was a lovely day in March; fine weather after the long winter. Japanese white-eyed birds chirping a melodious tone, perhaps they are celebrating to welcome the spring, delighted to have some sweet nectars from the cherry blossoms soon. Everything is almost perfect not until Tooru’s mom started banging things downstairs… again.</p><p>
  <em>Goddamnit. It’s 7 fucking am and she’s out there having her rants again.</em>
</p><p>When he heard a knock, immediately he went back to his bed and pretended to sleep.</p><p>“Tooru, get up.” He heard the hoarse voice of her older sister; might be due to crying “you’ll be late.”</p><p>"Can't I be lazy just for one day? I rather sleep longer than eat my breakfast in such an unpleasant morning." He murmured, a pillow over his head.</p><p>“I see… then take a bath.”</p><p>Puzzled by his sister’s response, he lifts his pillow.</p><p>“I mean, I’ll be preparing your <em>bento</em> but promise me that you are going to buy, at least a bread on your way to school so you can eat while walking.”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Promise me.” His sister emphasized.</p><p>“Yeah yeah, I'll be sending a Line message to you as proof."</p>
<hr/><p>As soon as the class on that day ended, Hanamaki clung his arm around Tooru’s shoulder. He held Tooru closer to him and grinned, a hidden agenda behind that face.</p><p>“What is it?” Tooru asked as he slips on his leather shoes and gathers the gifts he received from his fans.</p><p>“So… as you know, club activities for us has come to an end- ouch!”</p><p>Hanamaki’s face contorted in pain because the brunette stepped on his foot.</p><p>“Can’t you stop being nonchalant about that?” obviously irritated by the topic, stepping harder on his friend’s foot.</p><p>“Damn! Okay, okay. I’m sorry!” The younger immediately grabbed a napkin from his bag and then wiped his shoe that was stepped on.</p><p>A faint whisper from Tooru’s fangirls can be heard around such as, "Oh my god, he stepped on his shoe!", "Oh, how to be that lucky shoe!!"</p><p>"Dude, you blushing because of those words but not interested in dating anyone or even getting a one nigh-"again, he was stepped on, but this time, it is on his other shoe.</p><p>“I’m blushing because I’m too embarrassed! Makki!! Read. The. Fucking. Room!!”</p><p>The fangirls and even some of his fanboys giggled after witnessing that then left.</p><p>“Okay so what were you trying to say to me again, Hanamaki Takahiro?” raising one of his brows and arms crossed as he waits for his friend to finish wiping his other shoe.</p><p>“What I’m trying to say is, do you want to come over? Matsukawa will be goi-“</p><p>“NO.”</p><p>“Oikawa, calm down I ain’t gonna invite you to have a threesome with my potential Romeo, you must be the one to start reading the room. He’s mine.”</p><p>“Correction, ‘going to be’ “</p><p>“Fine! But he’s really going to be mine. Tonight’s the night. So, are you up for a group study?”</p><p>Tooru’s face puffed, eyes filled with disbelief. Holding back his laugh, he covered his mouth with his delicate hands.</p><p>“Eh?” eyes beady and pissed, he straightened up to explain his second intention, “Matsukawa is coming over to help me study for the upcoming university entrance exam and I, who is your ever caring and empathetic friend, is inviting you to come over because I think this will greatly help you too.”</p><p>Tooru finally calmed down but asked skeptically, “Will he be comfortable teaching his potential boyfriend when he brings a friend alongside?”</p><p>“He’s a top student in his high school and there is no way you will be a bother to him because I swear this guy ain’t shit like your previous boyfriend.”</p><p>Hanamaki might have a mouth that can also spit words that can directly pierce right into your heart, just like Tooru, but he definitely knows that his friend means no harm by mentioning the past. He still knows his boundaries at this level, and every day, Hanamaki is indeed one of the few reasons that he still chooses to gather himself and continue living.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Pro-...Profi..-" now I'm craving for one, I never tried them yet but I already had Cream Puffs and Eclairs (I prefer Eclairs) before. I read that these are different pastries - Profiteroles are the frozen ones. Would it be nice with a cup of coffee or with a tea? What about Hanamaki? He goes well with Matsukawa, don't he? I mean... Seijoh's 3rd years really won over my heart together with Fukurodani (but all hq characters are really... inspiring).</p><p>A filler chapter? Yep, but do not miss the details.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 3 - Pain Closest to One's Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Check END NOTES for the definition of the term with an "*"</p><p>I hope the timelines and the dialogues aren't confusing.</p><p>For those who gave Kudos, THANK YOU SO MUCH! You don't know how that encouraged me to continue writing this. Instead of getting any pressure, which might just make me "force" the plot, I'll enjoy and just let the ideas pop in my mind. Please anticipate for more ^^</p><p>Here's the 2nd chapter update for this week!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Unexpected, he found his friend clinging to his so-called future Romeo and still listens attentively to Matsukawa's meticulous lectures. Instead of lewd sounds, Matsukawa's deep voice resonates all over Hanamaki’s living room. Cums on his friend's face are nowhere to be found, instead, the cream from the Profiteroles he bought from the nearby bakeshop stains the corner of his lips.</p><p>He brushed off his thoughts, thinking perhaps he’s getting too skeptical and judgmental towards his friend. He knows that Hanamaki is indeed a smart guy, it’s just that studying late at night nor reading books is not his thing.</p><p>He continued to read again the reviewers he did weeks ago and unexpectedly, the company of the two made him calmer than those previous nights he had. He felt warmer… and <em>alive</em> tonight.</p><p>The group study went by Hanamaki trying to seduce Matsukawa in between lectures, the latter kept on throwing questions from the subject that they are focusing on, yet the former proved that he isn’t just all about sucking dicks.</p><p>“Damn it. He’s too dense.” Hanamaki slumped on the futon after Matsukawa left his flat.</p><p>“Makki, I have never thought someone like him can resist you? Since when did you become tamed?" Tooru teased</p><p>“Great pure Oikawa-san, THANKS. That was so much appreciated.”</p><p>“But Makki, Mattsun just looks hotter than I thought? I-…”</p><p>“Hey, what’s up with giving a nickname to my future husband? And of course, he is goddamn hot, and you’ve witnessed how good is he, right? Right??” Hanamaki beamed then irked. “Hate to admit it but I still can’t believe that we’re still not dating.”</p><p>“Oh c’mon, I’m sure Mattsun is already under your spell, perhaps he’s just too… good for you?”</p><p>“Oikawa Tooru!! Am I that bad???” the light-browned guy whined as he continued to bury his face on his futon. “Ah… shit.”</p><p>“Something’s wrong?” he asked, worried for the sudden change of his friend’s voice.</p><p>“I’m-“ the younger pointing to the swelling inside his pants.</p><p>“Ok, that’s for tonight. Go to the bathroom and jerk yourself off. I ain’t helping you with that, Makki” he teased as he heads toward the main door.</p><p>“Oikawa?!”</p><p>“Nope. You are also the cause of that. Goodbye, Makki. Thank you.” chuckling as he gestures an *<em>Akanbe</em>.</p><p>“Curse you, Matsukawa Issei. You better not let your guard down.” Hanamaki muttered as he went to his bathroom.</p>
<hr/><p>That night, he chose to stay up a little longer. Due to boredom and fear of the possibility of having another nightmare, he roamed his eyes on his desk to check on whatever he could do for the rest of the night. Nose getting itchy, he felt a building tingle from the inside then sneezed; his desk needs some decluttering.</p><p>He started to remove everything that's on top of his desk. The spaces without dust that were left when he removed his stuff, for God knows how many years they were there, are enough reasons for his desk to complain if it can talk. He scratched his eyes, still teary, he saw Kai-chan’s furs have also built up with the dust. Using a damp microfiber cloth, he wiped it then looked for a cloth that suits to be his desk's cover, as he waits for it to become dry.</p><p>When he's done putting the cover on his desk, he rearranged his stuff and chose to throw some such as pens that don't work anymore, some sticky notes which tasks written were long forgotten, and some small stuff that he got from his previous boyfriend. He gathers his stuff and threw them in the trash bin with no regrets.</p><p>
  <em>Perhaps this is a good start to moving on. Tooru, you should have done this years ago.</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>They broke up when they were just in first-year high school. It only took them to last for about 6 months, it might be already long for some but for him, that was nothing but a glimpse of a relationship that he was dreaming for. His previous boyfriend was the one who broke up with him through a Line message.</p><p>
  <em>“What do you mean breaking up with me? And through a Line message, really? Can we talk about this in person?”</em>
</p><p>It took a few more minutes before a reply made his phone lit up.</p><p>
  <em>“Oikawa…”</em>
</p><p>His heart starts to break; he never calls him by his last name when they started dating.</p><p>
  <em>“It is also difficult for me to do this but-“</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What's wrong? Is it something that I did? Have I become so clingy? I promise I will lessen it!! Have I become so demanding? I'm so sorry for asking you to buy milk bread every day or to keep on calling you nicknames you never liked. I'll properly call you by your first name starting right at this moment. Please can we just talk about this in person? I don't have anything to do after class tomorrow or tonight? May I come over? Please… let's not just end it pathetically like this."</em>
</p><p>With an anxious heart, he sent his long Line message. Never would he thought that when he finally chose to be serious, will he experience getting dumped in the most pathetic way that he can ever imagine.</p><p>
  <em>“I’m sorry, Oikawa.”</em>
</p><p>He wanted to rant, to be that bitch, but he wanted to control his emotions because, at this moment, he is the one that's going to be left alone.</p><p>
  <em>“Don’t say sorry if you aren’t.”</em>
</p><p>Right at that moment, he regrets what he sent.</p><p>
  <em>“Forget about what I sent!! I’m the one who should be apologizing. I did something that made you choose this, right? You can at least just point it out right now. I am willing more than before to accept them and this time…”</em>
</p><p>His vision started to cloud and his phone's screen was getting wet from the tears that fell on it. Using his shirt to get rid of his tears yet it only made him commit typos.</p><p><em>“Ioj w ojwkd chsngre”</em> Seen 10:55 pm</p><p><em>“*I would change. My bad, my fingers were getting sweaty that I had to wipe my screen”</em> Seen 11:15 pm</p><p><em>“Hey. I Love You, I really do. So please?”</em> Seen 11:30 pm</p><p>
  <em>“I Loved You too. I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight.”</em>
</p><p>He never dared to say those three words to anyone openly, not even to his family nor his friend, but the guy he fell deeply in love with, now have fallen out of love. Dedicating those three sincere words to this guy and he only got replies like that. Pathetic.</p><p><em>I never thought that just adding one letter to those three words can dramatically change its meaning. How can someone grow out of love when he truly loved one? Perhaps, one never loved the other that made it easier to part ways?</em><br/>
<br/>
Weeks after their break up, he noticed something about his ex-boyfriend. No, he isn’t stalking him, it just can’t be. How desperate and pathetic can he be? This guy dumped him, an annoying boyfriend like him deserves to be thrown away… but he chose to step further just to found out that his ex is dating a new guy and what hurts, is that it is one of his friends that is on another class – to be exact, his friend before he met Hanamaki.</p><p>
  <em>Ah… Breaking up is painful but being betrayed is the worst because it is done by people closest to your heart.</em>
</p><p>He became a mess that year, his personality got worse. He sought relief, to satisfy his carnal desires, but what good thing that happened to him is that his focus to win Volleyball matches ignited more. Being the team captain, he wanted to be a senpai that his kouhais will look up to, not a topic to belittle because a beautiful guy like him can even get dumped.</p><p>After a year, his ex approached him after one of his practices because he wanted to have a “talk”.</p><p>“Eh? What’s this? Do you know what it means to ‘talk’? You’re one year too late for that.” Tooru smirked as he put his hands on his waist.</p><p>“Tooru, about last year I-“</p><p>“Ehh? What happened to you and my rat friend? Did he died?"</p><p>“Tooru, this is why-“</p><p>“Why you chose to break up with me through Line? No need to say it, is this what you want to talk about, my dear? I can completely recall every detail, bitch. I even still have our old messages so I can still have proofs who first ditched this game.” He waved when he saw some of his fangirls afar, not paying much attention to the guy he now sees as an acquaintance; at least he is still that considerate.</p><p>“Tooru, I’m sincerely sorry even if you don’t believe me.”</p><p>He snorted, squinting his eyes, disgusted by the half-baked words.</p><p>“You know? I ain’t like those goddamn doors where you can just go in and out freely. You don’t have any value for me anymore, I have already learned what you thought me to do, and that’s to easily throw the years we had, even before getting together.”</p><p>The guy stayed silent, probably guilt slowly swallowing him or maybe thinking of a way to win him again? Nope, Tooru desires to win and he will.</p><p>To be honest, he still has feelings for the guy, he knows that unlike this trash, he can't easily just throw the memories. Though he seems to be a narcissist, deep inside his heart, he values relationships and that is why, each day he doubts, curses, and blames himself. He cared and he still cares.</p><p>He wanted to hear more from him such as the reasons why he left him for his so-called friend. Since when did they start dating? Did he cheat on him while they were still dating? Or the other guy was just a front for the real reason for their breakup?</p><p>He yearns for the truth. Not just at this moment, but since that night that they broke up. And yet he needs to start prioritizing himself.</p><p>
  <em>Tooru, you are an obstinate river. You are strong and you know your goals. No one can falter the flow of the river in you. Being obstinate may have two sides, but either of the meanings, you are going to win. You will win this fight this time.</em>
</p><p>“Eww. Ain’t that the guy who ditched you for that nobody?” a guy he can recognize the voice said “Hey, fuck boy, ain’t this your “nobody” current boyfriend? Saw him last night on one of the bars I’m a VIP ‘cause I’m a bitch like that at this age.”</p><p>The guy who has slightly pink hair said as he shoves his phone on the face of Tooru’s ex and then to Tooru. In the photo shown, though just a glimpse, he saw his ex-friend was making out with a guy while another guy gropes his ass.</p><p>“Arousing? More like agitating, right?”</p><p>“DELETE THAT.” Tooru’s ex insisted.</p><p>“No way.” His bored expression now evident as he swipes his phone’s screen, “Want to see what happened next?”</p><p>Tooru’s ex was about to punch this student but luckily, he got his volleyball inside his duffel bag. He stepped a few meters backward. He threw the ball upwards, running a few meters forward then jumped to hit it on its highest point, a violent sound roared when his palm met it. The ball's trajectory, though irregular as the high velocity affects it, dashed right into the face of his ex.</p><p>“Damn, that’s too accurate. Sexy trajectory you got there, Captain.” The student grinned as he put back his phone into his duffel bag then tucked his hands sideways inside his jersey shorts.</p><p>“How does it feel experiencing the same betrayal you did?” He asked with a deep voice. His eyes were so dark, an expression he only shows whenever he does his killer serves.</p><p>His ex finally withdrew, wincing from pain as he tries to stop his bleeding nose.</p><p>“Captain, I believe you don’t remember my name. I’m Hanamaki Takahiro, hope I won’t be invisible to you anymore since you only talk to us during the practice. Also, if you can just at least look just behind your seat, my seat is next to yours. Nice to meet you, classmate!” Hanamaki stretched out his hand. The light from the gym made it better to see this teammate, who has light-brown hair than the slight pink color he believed to have a while ago.</p><p>He was there all this time.</p><p>Starting that day, his rollercoaster ride of friendship with him continued to bloom.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Akanbe is a Japanese gesture that expresses a childish taunting/ sarcasm. It's what Oikawa usually does, when he pulls one of his lower eyelids and stick his tongue out.</p><p>If MatsuHana is already mentioned, when will Iwaizumi appear?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 4 - Longevity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the first-ever chapter to have Oikawa's POV~ In the future chapters, there will be occasional times when the narrators are in the first person POV, but it will be for a whole chapter to avoid confusions. Narrators are always stated at the beginning unless it is not needed.</p><p>Check END NOTES for the DEFINITION of the words with "*"</p><p>I cut a medium portion of this chapter, thinking it is too-much-info already, but I'm saving that part to be added in another chapter ^^ Also, idk if anyone noticed it but I'm trying to write this work while introducing some of Japan's tradition and belief so, I prefer to use some Japanese words to introduce their terms (especially if idk the translation). I always assume that maybe some of my readers also want to know the culture so I think it's quite fun to enjoy the story and gain some learnings. I wanted this work to portray the beauty of Japan's culture or the readers can imagine what it is like, as well as to show IwaOi's story in this universe. So if any term is confusing, check the END NOTES.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Oikawa’s POV]</p><p>“Cranes are known as a mystic creature that symbolizes longevity; believed to have a lifespan up to thousand years from a certain proverb. They are also believed to symbolize good fortune. This is why we decided to use the crane as one of the details of our family’s crest, it is our symbol.”</p><p>Annually, my mom reminds us of our family’s treasured traditions and beliefs.</p><p>“My children, the Red Thread of Fate connects us to our fated partners and someday, you will all meet them. Yet, either you meet them or not, the very existence of that small faith could give birth to hope that will flourish contentment in your core. So, continue to live, and later on, at the right time and at the right place, the two ends will finally meet.”</p><p>As a child, I never understood her flowery words fully, they have always been too vague for me. As far as I can remember, “fated partners”, “small faith”, “contentment” and especially, “either you meet or not” retained in my mind, but as my eyes witness the bitterness of her life, I understood one thing that leads me to another question.</p><p>
  <em>She never met the other end, but why is she content?</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>My mom isn't oblivious about me being skeptical and probably knows that I'm just forcing myself partaking in the annual traditions.</p><p>“Isn’t this such a plain *<em>Montsuki, </em>Tooru?”</p><p>I cocked my head to the side, eyes squinting as I look at her reflection in the mirror. <em>Did my mom finally revoke her principles?</em></p><p>“but what makes it valuable?”</p><p>“Uhh… our family’s crest embroidered on it?”</p><p>"Wrong answer, my dear. It's you, who wears it. Never forget that it is us who truly gives value in this temporary world.”</p><p>“Mom, I’m afraid to admit this but I really don’t… understand any of it. It’s not that I don’t really care but I really… just don’t see it.”</p><p>I noticed the wrinkles at the corner of her eyes as she smiled at me that day. They are more evident than before. She smiled yet the sadness in her cannot be fully concealed.</p><p>“There’s nothing to lose when you try to believe and that is no different when you do not. Yet we’ll never know, perhaps the smallest faith of all can still make things happen. Now, now, fix your hair, okay? We’ll go to your father’s side, don’t forget to bring the gold paper crane chains you made. Your grandparents would surely love to see them on this special day.”</p><p>My family annually makes thousand paper cranes chain whenever a relative is ill, as a decoration for an occasion, to wish someone to have a long life or just to donate to the nearby hospital. Every new year, we even offered colorful ones at the shrine, wishing from the gods to provide us a healthy long life.</p><p>Of course, I believed my mom at some point, but when you just see the reality of life, you can't help but lose interest in these things.</p><p>“If they are real, why would they allow dad to cheat? Have the gods chose to ignore our relentless prayers?”</p><p>I remembered asking that nonchalantly after this year’s new year shrine visit; without the intention of disrespecting anyone. My older brother hit my head lightly, wincing as I turn to hit him back, I noticed my mother’s expressionless face; her jaw tightened.</p><p>“Tooru, praying and asking are two different things.” is what my mom answered me. After that, the whole trip was awkward, dad isn’t with us because we were going to visit my mom’s side while dad chose to spend his new year with his side.</p><p>“Happy New Year to me” I whispered.</p>
<hr/><p>It was 4 am on a Saturday when I woke up from a dreamless sleep. Due to this routine, I have found myself getting fond of this hour, to be exact between 12 am to 4 am. These hours are so quiet, calm, and rarely will you hear noises outside unless drunkards were heading home. I found myself enjoying this time of the day: to study, to think about anything without any disturbance, to binge-watch volleyball matches since the wifi connection became faster at these hours when I'm the only one using it. If there will be one thing that I despise, it is waking up from a nightmare.</p><p>
  <em>It’s so boring.</em>
</p><p>I opened my drawer and gather all the black papers, folded them in equal square parts so I can tear them, too lazy to use my scissors.</p><p>Thousand paper cranes? Since when did I last made these? I believe my mom still holds grudges against me for the years when I purposely not joined our family’s annual traditions; except for the 50<sup>th</sup> anniversary of my dad’s parents. That made her not talking to me for months, grateful to be at Hanamaki’s flat during those days, but they never knew about it; I don’t want to drag my only friend with my family issues. Oh please, this is too tiring.</p><p>Mom said that in every paper crane that I fold, I should think about that one wish that I want to be granted once I reach the thousandth paper crane. Not that I really have something right now that I want to wish for nor the great faith for it to happen, but the nightmares I had for months are kind of alarming, I just want them to stop. It’s not bad to try again, right?</p><p>
  <em>“There’s nothing to lose when you try to believe and that is no different when you do not. Yet we’ll never know, perhaps the smallest faith of all can still make things happen…”</em>
</p><p>I’m years too late to believe but I have nothing to lose though… because almost everything has started falling apart at the seams. </p><p>It’s already 9 am when I reached my 500<sup>th</sup> black paper crane. Being so used to folding these makes it a piece of cake to make 100 per hour. The ever-bright sun never fails to greet me warmly, yet why does its warmth never reach me? Light steps along the corridor break the silence, the aroma of coffee and sweet toast fills the air; well, another day to survive.</p>
<hr/><p>“Bond papers? What do you need them for?”</p><p>My brother has stacks of them since he uses them for his work-from-home. He cursed at his breath, vigorously clicking his computer mouse.  Too busy playing <em>League of Legends</em>, until “***** is on Killing Spree” appeared on his monitor.</p><p>“Fuck it, useless players! Do you even call yourselves, gamers? All these brats just love gaining kills! What’s the use of having roles at a party?!”</p><p>
  <em>Damn, MMORPGs really aren’t my thing.</em>
</p><p>“What’s enjoyable about that?” Oops, I thought too loud.</p><p>“You know, this is just like your beloved Volleyball, brat. I still can’t believe how you became your team’s captain with that brain of yours.” He scoffed as he prepared himself to use his powerful <em>skill</em> combo, as far as I know, the moment his<em> Champion</em> has enough <em>mana</em> to use.</p><p>“This fucker, that was supposed to be my kill?! What the actual fuck? My kills aren’t enough to be the top for this match”</p><p>
  <em>This guy just ranted about a certain teammate about stealing kills but now he is angry about his real intention.</em>
</p><p>When the match finished, his team still won and his <em>Champion</em> had the most kills. Right after that, he started to join and wait for another random ranked match.</p><p>“Tooru, as I said, LOL and Volleyball are somehow the same. Both have teams with different roles, each member has different sets of identity and skills, and together if they know how to use their skills unitedly, then their goal will be achieved.”</p><p>My eyes widened and how thankful am I that this bigger brat doesn’t see my face; this will just feed his ego if he sees me in awe. Though we always banter, I could be lying if I deny that he never influenced my leadership and tactics in volleyball indirectly, not just today but even those rare times that we do not banter… but nope, I ain’t gonna admit that to him.</p><p>“So, where are your spare bond papers? I’m making my paper cranes!!”</p><p>“They are at that left cabinet, 3<sup>rd</sup> drawer. What suddenly made you make them?”</p><p>“Hmm nothing special. Just got bored. Is it that weird for me to make some?”</p><p>“Well, hell yeah. You’ve been saying such triggering things about our traditions and beliefs for 2 years, not that it really bothers me but maybe for mom and sis though. Well, whatever. Just do what you want as long as you will be happy. Now get out of my room, Mr. Self-Declared Pretty Setter because I finally found the next match. If you aren’t gonna play this, then get out.”</p><p>
  <em>What will make me happy?</em>
</p><p>If not for being his usual asshole self, there’s no way that I’m gonna hate him daily. Should I put a teaspoon of wasabi on his coffee? Hmmm… maybe next time.</p><p>
  <em>If there will be a next time…</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Continuing making square papers that are good for 500 more paper cranes, my vision gets blurry and if I hadn’t hit my forehead on my desk, I might have another nightmare creeping around me.</p><p>
  <em>Anyways, this nightmare I’m into is more tolerable than those nightmares.</em>
</p><p>“115<sup>th</sup> here we go” then I heard a knock from my door at that usual hour. “Come in!!”</p><p>“Are you busy?”</p><p>“Well, as you see I, who stopped making paper cranes years ago, suddenly started making them today. But my ears aren’t occupied so what is it, nee-san?”</p><p>"I have a problem." Her voice is soft and trembling. I also noticed from the corner of my eyes that she is fumbling her fingers as she chews on her lips.</p><p>“I-… I think I’m… Pregnant.”</p><p>I paused, then continued to fold my 116th paper.</p><p>“You know who’s your baby sharing your chromosomes with?”</p><p>“Tooru, please speak like a normal person.”</p><p>“The Father”</p><p>“It was my-“</p><p>A loud bang downstairs was heard. She dashed to check what happened. After a few minutes, a meow was heard outside my room. It was Kai-chan.</p><p>“Kai-chan ~ my baby ~ come here, girl” she warily approached me.</p><p>“What’s up? Was that you who did that loud bang?” she meowed as if she understood.</p><p>She leaped on my lap and started to knead one of my thighs. Her pleasant purr added more to the comfort that started to embrace me. Since when did I smile like this again? It has been months since I had quality time with my dear kai-chan.</p><p>I can still remember crystal clear how I found Kai-chan on a trash heap, her body was feeble and drenched by the rain. I took the poor kitten knowing the fact that we aren’t ready to adopt one, but the little fur ball’s adorableness makes me feel alive. Who would have known that you will grow healthy and get the whole household whipped for you?</p><p>She continued to knead and even rubbed her face on my thighs. It was said that if cats do these, it is their way of saying that they love you and they find content with you.</p><p>“Kai-chan, I love you too!! But I better trim your nails later because now it feels like I’m your human scratch post at this rate.”</p><p>“Meow~”</p><p>
  <em>Kai-chan, please have a happy life, even if it has the possibility that it wouldn’t be that long. I Love You.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Definitions of Terms:</p><p>*Montsuki - is the formal (black) kimono for men. "Montsuki" means "with mon" (Mon = family crest). It is worn with a "Haori" (jacket) and "Hakama" (a long pleated skirt/pants worn over kimono). Usually, to make it formal, they embroider/ paint at least 5 crests on it. Families can make their own crests or use their current crests, and in this universe, Tooru's family customized their crest to combine each family's tradition and belief.<br/>Source: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgWiNDuzXzw&amp;list=LL&amp;index=24&amp;t=425s">Informations about Formal Kimonos</a></p><p>Continuation of Facts/ Sharings and Sources: (optional to read)</p><p>5. I used to make paper cranes when I was in high school. I can still remember using different kinds of paper that my hands can grab. From scratch papers, old magazines, and even newspapers! I also love making small ones, they are about half an inch. If you wanna try making them too, <a href="https://www.instructables.com/How-to-make-a-Paper-Crane-1/">Paper Crane Tutorial</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 5 - Lost in the Serene Forest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>PLEASE READ &lt;3 (SORRY KINDA LONG)</p><p>This chapter contains MORE TERMS, so check END NOTES for the definition of words with "*" and some notes about this work.</p><p>This chapter is planned to be published on the 8th of November, BUT HARUICHI FURUDATE SENSEI UPLOADED THE "IWAOI" OFFICIAL ILLUSTRATION FOR THE 45TH VOLUME OF THE MANGA ON TWITTER 2 DAYS AGO (I just checked my twt yesterday and saw that Oikawa's Stage Actor, Kosuke RTed it!) So as a celebration, I decided to publish this tonight! (tho it's not a happy chapter)</p><p>I was so happy to see them especially THE SMILING IWAIZUMI HAJIME HOLDING A DUMBBELL (damn I fcking miss him so much!). Like yk, the drought is expected for this season if it's about Seijoh's 3rd years (and if you have read the manga) but seeing Oikawa every time in the OP and MatsuHana last Episode 14 just brought me into bliss! But I can't help having a longing for Iwaizumi since he is my most favorite Seijoh member and then THE ILLUSTRATION WAS UPLOADED EYE-... That helped me relax before taking my exams that day LOL.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/haikyu_com/status/1323600866687938560?s=20">link to the official IWAOI illustration post from the official twt account</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“One thousand!” stretching his tired muscles, various joints cracking, he sighed.</p><p>He went to his sister’s bedroom; it smelled the same way as he remembers. Not too sweet, just with a hint of chrysanthemum. The fresh spring breeze brushed onto his face when he opened the window, the sheer curtain glided in sync with it and the room brightened from the warm sun rays yet, the atmosphere has never been this heavy like before.</p><p>Clean sheets, unbothered desk, and the numerous paper crane chains hanged on the hooks on the wall just adjacent to her sister’s bed. He sat on the bed.</p><p>
  <em>I miss you, when are you coming back? When will we meet again?</em>
</p><p>He leaned closer to the side table, pulled the drawer, and found her sister's sewing kit. Right after that, he stood and closed the window. Just when he stepped his foot into the corridor, he glanced one last time at the colorful paper crane chains hanging on the wall.</p><p>
  <em>This is the day.</em>
</p><p>Then he locked the door.</p>
<hr/><p>“Where are you going?”</p><p>“Just gonna have a stroll.”</p><p>“Don’t you have any volleyball practices today?”</p><p>“My club activities ended weeks ago, we’re now all preparing for the upcoming university entrance exam.”</p><p>Tooru’s mom stayed silent. Her eyes examined his plain attire, then stopped when she saw his duffel bag hanging on his shoulder. She frowned as she sips her warm coffee then she started staring at nothing. He scowled when he heard the slurping sound then she took another toast, took a bite and it never failed to irritate him. It always bothers him but today he will let it pass.</p><p>“Toast?”</p><p>“You know that I don’t like toasts…”</p><p>“What about coffee?”</p><p>“I’m hyper acidic, Mom.”</p><p>“You haven’t eaten anything yet; the sun will set soon.”</p><p>The kitchen smelled like caramel, just like their family’s usual mornings but now, breakfasts do not follow the same schedules. He took a glass from the cabinet and poured water on it, then he sat and took the toast he never liked. The awkward silence made the ticking of the clock from the living room be heard in the kitchen while the slurping and chewing of her mom filled his ears.</p><p>“I’m going to visit your sister today, want to come along?”</p><p>He roamed his eyes, unconsciously counting the empty chairs that surround the dining table.</p><p>“I rather have a stroll…”</p><p>He bit on his crispy toast, allowing her mom to hear it, hinting that despite all he said, the toast still tastes good.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Today I finally finished my thousand paper cranes, both black and white.</em>
</p><p>It was a typical busy day, no one dared to walk across the other side of the street until the *<em>blue</em> crosswalk sign finally lit up; everyone rushed to their destinations. Eyes in a daze, as he walks across the busy street that he cannot remember the name, he felt the roughness of the asphalt against his soles and kept on ignoring the sting from the forming blisters. Confused eyes darted on him; some even clicked their tongues but no one approached him. Everyone’s in a rush to pause for someone like him.</p><p>He turned to the left corner, then to the right, and vice versa. As he walks to a street, the smell of<em> takoyaki</em>s and the sound of pop music being played by the shops wafted about the busy corners of this area. Spring brings out the people and makes the streets lively, but none of these matters anymore to him. So, every corner where his feet will bring him, he will go, just depending on his instincts to get to that place.</p><p>“Are you lost? Perhaps, are you headed to that place?”</p><p>“I think so, <em>Obaasan</em>…”</p><p>The random grandmother he met along the road carries a large bag. Her eyes found its way to look at his dirty and blistered feet.</p><p>“I sell *<em>Geta</em> and *<em>Zori</em>, even *<em>Tabi</em> just at that corner. I hope you'll consider stopping over once you come back from that place. Take your time thinking about it and I'll be waiting."</p><p>Then the old lady started to take her steps to the said corner, carrying her large bag that he assumes to contain the slippers and socks that she is selling.</p><p><strong><em>Do it! Go!  </em></strong>the roaring voice inside his head demanded.</p>
<hr/><p>Emotionless eyes surrounded with dark circles, walking alone as he pulls the thousand crane chains along the ground. A thousand origamis made by Tooru out of vague reasons, previously kept inside his former volleyball club’s duffel bag which he left at the entrance of the forest. Connected by an old red thread, probably a crochet thread, he found inside his older sister’s sewing kit that was left alone and forgotten when she started to have her work.</p><p>He continued to wander as if the eerie but serene forest tries to lure him deeper into its depths, not remembering how or when did he get here, all he remembers is that he started walking out of their house from noon – barefooted.</p><p>Wandering his tired eyes, he tries to appreciate the forest which probably will be the last scenery that he will ever see. He saw how the robust trees’ trunks looked twisted while their roots continued winding on the forest floor, like how the threads end up when his mongrel cat, Kai-chan played with her older sister’s spools of threads.</p><p>He smiled as he remembers his cat. “Will she forgive me?” he asked himself.</p><p>“Will <em>she</em> forgive me?” He repeated, now pertaining to her older sister.</p><p>As he continues to walk deeper into the forest, he heard streams of water flowing nearby so, he followed the sound.</p><p>
  <em>Ah… Great timing. Forgive me nature for I, the so-called great Oikawa Tooru will defy your serenity. Don’t worry… I am nothing but a useless existence, my value isn’t that great to fully defy you but…my permanent disappearance will cause great happiness to the others.</em>
</p><p>When he reached the stream, he stood just at the side of it. He looked down and saw such a clear reflection of him, ignoring how dark the water seems; a sign that it is indeed deep. For him, he looked so pathetic, selfish, and lonely.</p><p>
  <em>How can someone like me be called beautiful for a thousand times… when I lived like this? How can people around me, who barely know me loved me when the people who lived with me always hated me? How can someone like me be gifted and cursed at the same time?</em>
</p><p>Closing his eyes and spreading his arms, one hand holding his thousand black and white paper cranes chain, he finally took a deep breath.</p><p><em>This is nonsense. I am nonsense.</em><br/>
<br/>
After that thought, he felt his body became heavy as if his own body chose to abandon all senses and just fall under the influence of the earth’s gravity. Yet a faint sound was heard, probably a few meters away from him.</p><p>“Oi- ” a faint voice called out for him, which he could not care about.</p><p>So, it is true that if someone is dying, the sense of hearing is the last sense to get lost but I haven't hit the stream yet though, have I?</p><p>“Oi!”</p><p>The voice called out again, together with increasing sounds of twigs breaking and the rustling of leaves. A calloused and a little bit sweaty hand grabbed his forearm that prevented him from falling. Alerted, he opened his eyes and whipped his neck towards the sudden unknown presence that interrupted him.</p><p>When he looked at the unknown guy, his eyes were met with a pair of big eyes with olive green irises, which shape resembles his cat's eyes. He examined the guy's face; thicker than normal eyebrows furrowed in the middle which then made him look next on his not-so-pointy-but-just-right nose.</p><p>“Oi. I-…”</p><p>“Hmm?” Tooru beamed, putting up the face he usually shows the people around. That face when he looks both interested and smug at the same time.</p><p>“I-… I’m lost. Can you show me the way out?”</p><p>The raven-haired man asked as he rubs his nape in embarrassment but the furrow he had on his forehead, continued to deepen.</p><p>"O-Okay… I'll lead you there." Tooru answered and put on a fake smile.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Definitions of Terms:</p><p>*Chrysanthemum - symbolizes the seasons, for it is considered as the "flower for every time of the year" in Japan. Hence, it also became the country's symbol (you may see this printed/ as detail on some stuff such as the passport) and a common design for artworks. This will give a hint for one aspect of Oikawa's past in this universe due to some of its uses but most importantly, it also symbolizes longevity.</p><p>*Blue Crosswalk Sign - is GREEN but it is normally called "Blue" in Japan.</p><p>*Geta - is a traditional Japanese wooden slipper that has 1-2 teeth. They are usually worn in summer, with a Yukata (less formal) or simply, anywhere. They can also be worn with Western clothes so it still suits Oikawa's attire in this universe. They also make a distinct clacking sound. Also, they have various designs that are customized depending on the season.</p><p>*Zori - is another traditional Japanese slipper made of various materials. They are usually worn with a Kimono (formal) and should be worn with a Tabi (sock). This one kind of resembles the western flip-flops.</p><p>*Tabi - is the traditional Japanese socks that are toe-divided, making it easy to wear with the Zori.</p><p>Continuation of Facts/ Special Notes about this work:<br/>6. If you haven't noticed it yet, it's already Spring at this time, soon Summer will come and Getas will be used again. Oh how I love the sounds they make! I hope you can appreciate every single detail ^^</p><p>7. The forest in this universe is just a fictional place but it is based on Aokigahara Forest. Usually, if the folks learned that you are headed to this forest, they will try to stop/ warn you from continuing.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 6 - The Cranes and Cicadas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>To my 5K work subscribers (JUST KIDDING),<br/>We've finally reached the part where Iwaizumi appears, and tbh I find that it took him so long (or is it just me? so I apologize for that). Also, this is like the end of the 1st half of the work (this will not reach 20 chapts) and I kinda feel anxious abt how my readers feel abt this.</p><p>How was it so far? Any questions?<br/>Any expectations/theories on how this work will progress/end?<br/>I'll answer as long as it will not spoil you~</p><p>Usually, I alrd drafted 2 chapts ahead of what I post here, but I want to know your side too 'cause it'll also help me in finalizing the other chapts. We'll nvr know, maybe if I saw some of your comments, it might help me squeeze more of my brain juices.</p><p>Check END NOTES for definitions of words with "*"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I-… I’m lost. Can you show me the way out?”</p><p>"O-Okay… I'll lead you there."</p><p>He led the way and the guy followed him. They were silent and awkward, and if not for a sudden buzzing sound from the distance, the whole stroll is going to be dead silent. Then he heard the guy’s steps stopped abruptly.</p><p>He turned to face the raven, which he found looking afar, listening to where could be the buzzing sound comes from. He noticed that the guy was holding an aerial net with a long handle and a small frame, and an empty wooden bug box held by his other hand; things he never noticed a while ago.</p><p>“Came here to catch *Cicadas?” He smiled at the stranger that made the latter flinch.</p><p>“Uh… yeah.”</p><p>“But it’s still spring, isn’t it?” He cocked his head to the side in confusion, somehow an interest towards the guy grows within him.</p><p>"Well, as we both heard just now, there are some who appear during spring."</p><p>The raven-haired’s voice is deep and kind of hoarse, but despite these, the light shade of red cannot be hidden from his cheeks. Tooru wondered what’s on his mind; witnessing someone that is about to commit suicide – barefooted, is not what you expect when you come out to catch Cicadas, but the guy never asked about it.</p><p>“Want to check out where could be that Cicada is?” he chirped, eyeing on the raven's empty bug box.</p><p>“Hmm… it’s fine, besides it’s getting dark soon. W-… we should get out of here.”</p><p>Not having a hard time finding the way back to the entrance is unexpected for him, since this is his first time here, and what surprised him more was discovering that the route he took towards the stream was such a long distance.</p><p>Upon reaching the entrance, his eyes widened to see that his duffel bag is still waiting for him. He opened its zipper and put his paper cranes carefully inside, not wanting them to get tangled.</p><p>“Uhm…”</p><p>“Yes?” He wore the strap around his torso and faced the other with a cheerful face.</p><p>The raven-haired took out a pair of <em>Geta</em>, they have white straps with cherry blossom prints, and handed it to him.</p><p>
  <span>“Uhm… An old lady gave this to me on my way here, she gave it to me for free but I think, you need this more than I do.”</span>
</p><p>“Oh… T-thanks.”</p><p>He gladly accepted the <em>Geta</em> and wore it immediately, though it is kind of uncomfortable due to his blisters, he cannot deny the fact that it is better than staying barefoot. Besides, it is getting dark and it is getting colder underneath his soles.</p><p>A faint grumble from their stomachs broke their, seems to be unending, silence. Both of them looked at each other’s eyes, getting bashful of their fragileness. That is when the raven-haired finally loosened up and asked him.</p><p>"I know a good ramen house in this city, why don't we have some together before we go home?"</p><p>Tooru bit his lip and gazed his eyes to the side, both embarrassed from the sudden eye contact and the fact he has no money with him. Like who would bring money with them if they plan to end their life?</p><p>“Hey, don’t worry!” the raven-haired’s voice finally lightened up, “I’ll treat you!”</p><p>“Oh my god, that’s too much. A <em>Geta </em>and a treat?”</p><p>The raven-haired chuckled, which sent a tingling on his stomach, not sure if he is just too hungry since the last food he ate was a single slice of toast, or if this guy is just… different.</p><p>“Well you helped me so, I think it’s not too much to repay?”</p><p> </p><p>On their way to the ramen house, they passed by the said corner where the old lady should be selling, but Tooru noticed that she isn’t there. The said ramen house isn’t that far from the forest. The warm savory aroma and the friendly hostess welcomed them soon as they came in, the latter smiled at the raven-haired like it is not the first time that they met, then immediately she ushered them to an unoccupied low table.</p><p>“Which ramen do you prefer?”</p><p>Tooru hummed as he roams his eyes on the menu that the hostess gave. He gulped when another wave of the savory aroma flourished around his nostrils.</p><p>“I would like to try a *<em>Tonkotsu Ramen</em>. My friend usually orders this when he buys one.”</p><p>“What noodles do you prefer?” the raven-haired asked again.</p><p>“I-I’m not sure. Which is better?”</p><p>“Well, usually I prefer *<em>Chijiremen</em> for my noodles but that’s because I prefer the *<em>Shoyu Ramen</em>.”</p><p>“Which is better for mine though?”</p><p>“I suggest, have *<em>Hosomen </em>for the noodles. What about for your toppings?”</p><p>“Hmm… the traditional boiled egg is enough~”</p><p>He sticks his tongue out to the side, wanting to make the atmosphere less awkward. After that, the guy told the hostess about it, he said some few words after ordering their ramen but the brunette didn't pay attention to it. Never would he expect to spend the last few hours of this day with a total stranger, but not that it bothers him, somehow it is a new experience; the guy across the low table might also feel the same way. He noticed that the guy glanced at his empty bug box placed beside him, then decided to check his phone.</p><p>
  <em>Ah… I really interrupted his bug-catching.</em>
</p><p>It will take some time for the ramens to be served so, they waited quietly. Just a few minutes after their order was taken by the hostess, she served <em>Tempuras</em> and bowls of <em>Japanese Rice</em>, both in pairs and in medium portions. Then two glasses with ice on it and a liter of cola, which cut him from staring to nothing.</p><p>“You ordered these?”</p><p>“Oh, I didn’t. They give free tempura and rice for every ramen, but yeah… I ordered the colas. Y-you don’t prefer them? I can order tea instead.” hearing the guy stutter made the brunette chuckle. Usually, people who treat him doesn't bother him. He wonders why did he try to reject the guy's kindness earlier when usually he just thinks of people treating him as normal.</p><p>“N-no worries!” he continues to chuckle, “I’m just not used to it.”</p><p>“To what?” the raven-haired closed his mouth after asking. Probably thinking that he is asking too much.</p><p>Tooru was surprised by his words as well. But what exactly is he not accustomed to? Is it the guy’s kindness? Is it ordering at this ramen house? He has been feeling something unusual ever since they met but he really can’t distinguish what is it. His brows met each other, his shoulder rose as he inhaled deeply then sighed.</p><p>“Maybe… by all of these.”</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>He immediately looked up as if his neck would break, brows now raised and eyes widened.</p><p>“The paper cranes…” the raven-haired chewed on his lips. Tooru furrowed again, thinking perhaps the other has been dying to ask about it.</p><p>“AH… right!” with a cheerful voice, he hit the side of his fist to his palm that’s resting up. “You must be curious about my paper crane chains?”</p><p>The raven-haired nodded.</p><p>“It’s just a family tradition. I made them earlier. Heard of the thousand paper cranes legend? Oh, please tell me, it’s not the first time you heard about it! It’s such a common practice among us!”</p><p>“Yup, nope. Ehr… I mean yup, it’s not the first time.”</p><p>Tooru once again opened the zipper of his bag, pulling out just a few inches of the chain. With an unusual exciting feeling, he hovered the chain in front of the guy and the latter focused on it.</p><p>“Cranes are known as a mystic creature that symbolizes longevity; believed to have a lifespan up to thousand years from a certain proverb. They are also believed to symbolize good fortune.”</p><p>He blinked as he realizes that he just said the exact repetitive words of her mom about their beliefs to a stranger, then he continued.</p><p>"So, following that, it has been my family's tradition and belief to make these for people we wish to have a long life. Also, look! Look!"</p><p>He moved some of the cranes to one side so he can expose the thread. The unusual excitement continues to rise within him, it’s alarming but he can’t stop it… It scares him but why can’t he stop?</p><p>“I used a red crochet thread to connect them since they can symbolize the Red Thread of Fate. For my cranes, I chose two colors, well shades to be exact.”</p><p>The brunette noticed that the raven-haired furrowed deeply, at first, he thought that he is angry, but seeing him pouting made him chuckle for the third time.</p><p>
  <em>Is he confused by what I’m saying?</em>
</p><p>“I chose Black…” he glanced to the side so fast he knows the other won’t notice as he bites on his lower lip, “since it symbolizes… strength and power in the traditional origami colors and White for the balance. It's a good partner with Black, and it also symbolizes cleanliness and purity."</p><p>He straightened then fidgeted from his seat. He put the cranes back into his bag, then cupped his hands on his crossed legs, leaning slightly on his back, and then looked around. Few cold beads of sweat streams down on his temples, anxiously he continued.</p><p>"I wished to become strong and powerful and to live a life of cleanliness while making these. Well, not talking about living holy here but, somehow life's getting rough on me and I just want a break. It's tiring. And I thought, using the red thread is just perfect to connect these two colors.”</p><p>
  <em>Did it work? Will he buy it?</em>
</p><p>Saying the end of his words, he looked back to the raven-haired once again, not expecting that the latter is staring at him. It felt like he was vacuumed to another dimension as he stares back deeply at those olive-green irises. He felt that his face flushed when the other smiled, but his eyes were sad.</p><p>“Oh… I see.” The spiky, raven-haired guy whispered.</p><p>After the short conversation about the cranes, they finally started eating the tempura and rice, making the atmosphere between them comfortable. Luckily, they are still hot. The rich flavor of the shrimp coated with the crunchy breading complements well with the tasty, and chewy grains of the hot Japanese rice. Eating the appetizers made their waiting less awkward. When their ramens came, they enjoyed them, allowing anyone to hear them slurping. Tooru noticed an additional topping on his <em>Tonkotsu ramen</em>, he wanted to ask again the guy about it but chose to just let it go. Besides, he is being treated right now, it feels rude to keep on asking about it or he might come out as demanding.</p><p>When he took a bite on his *<em>Chashu</em>, he felt that the raven-haired watched him from under his eyelashes while slurping his <em>Shoyu Ramen</em>… or was it just his imagination?</p><p>The rich soup base gave warmth to his stomach and more flavor to the chewy noodles. He left the chunk of <em>Chashu to </em>sit on his bowl so it could add more to the meaty flavor of the soup, allowing to simmer in it, and just eat it at the end of his meal; he enjoyed the ramen more.</p><p>“Hey.” Now it’s Tooru’s time to ask. They were already half-finished when his curiosity struck him.</p><p>The raven-haired, still slurping his curly noodles, looked on him from under his eyelashes, and raised his brows.</p><p>“Why do you catch Cicadas?”</p><p>Hearing Tooru’s question, he slurped his noodles, chewed, and swallowed it immediately. The guy sips on his glass with cola first, then wiped his lips with a napkin.</p><p>“Simply because they are weird but beautiful.”</p><p>“Weird?”</p><p>“Did you know that almost all their lives, to be exact around 17 years, they live as nymphs underground but they only get to live for about a month?”</p><p>“No way!!”</p><p>“Yeah… Kinda sad, right? Since I’m an only child, I got no one to play with so, it is one of the past-time activities that I enjoy in the summer. My dad taught me how to catch them and he also told me that I should also let them free after appreciating them.”</p><p>The guy pressed his lips together, furrowed his brows, and held the bug box. He looked at it, opening the lid then eventually closed it.</p><p>"They die after fulfilling their roles in this world. I find that fascinating, like how does a simple insect that lived almost all its life underground, and yet still gets to know their purpose and fulfill it? Did they enjoy their short-lived life? What else did they do underground? It’s just… a weird and beautiful life.”</p><p>Tooru watched as the other looked at him one more time. He saw that the guy’s lips curled slightly before continuing his ramen.</p><p> </p><p>The <em>Geta’s </em>distinct sound echoes against the tiles as they walk together to the nearby station. It’s about closing time so they rushed before the last train leaves, but he noticed that despite the circumstance, the guy still tried to match his phasing. The blisters sting more as his adrenaline earlier has already ceased completely, making it difficult to walk. They stopped as they reach two routes, each leading to two different locations.</p><p>“I’m gonna take the right route.” said the raven-haired, voice completely casual.</p><p>“Oh, I’m gonna take the left. Seems like it’s time to say goodbye?”</p><p>“Y-…yeah.”</p><p>They turned and took their steps towards their routes. Tooru clenched his jaw as he tightly gripped the strap of his bag. He now feels full, warm, light, and maybe… new. Unconsciously, he smiled reminiscing how the day was really fun until he flinched, then turned.</p><p>“I’m..”</p><p>“Uhm..”</p><p>To his surprise, the guy also turned to face him at the same time, both having their eyes wide open. He felt that he blushed and the other also has a slight tint of red on his cheeks.</p><p>
  <em>This guy is getting embarrassed again.</em>
</p><p>“You go first.” The raven-haired seems to go back to his initial state when he first met Tooru.</p><p>The brunette chuckled, and he can’t count anymore how many times he chuckled today.</p><p>“What’s your name?”</p><p>“I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, you?”</p><p>“Oikawa Tooru.”</p><p>“Oikawa-san”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“If we’ll ever meet again, let’s catch Cicadas.”</p><p>“Sure… Iwa… Iwaizumi-san”</p><p>This time, Tooru smiled sweetly before he bid his goodbye.</p><p> </p><p><em>Hey, Makki! Can I come over? </em>Sent 11:00 pm<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Definitions:<br/>*Cicadas - Almost live their lives as nymphs underground for about 13-17 years. It has various kinds, each has a diff. cycle of when the broods will emerge and different "calling songs", but one thing is for sure, they're mysterious for to date, Entomologists still dk what actually is their behavior underground (I'll update this if I find a legit article for an update).<br/>In Japan, they're considered as "sounds of summer" and a popular past-time for kids (Iwaizumi did this according to Haikyuu!! Cross Team Match game). Despite their long stay underground, they only live for about a month or more just to find a mate (males sing) and lay eggs (females). It has also become a part of Classical Japanese Literature, 空蝉 (Utsusemi/ Empty Cicada/Lady of the Locust Shell).</p><p>For the Ramen Part,<br/>Ramen can be customized when you order. You can choose your noodles, broth weight, toppings, size of servings, preferences (noodles' thickness, oiliness of the soup), and side dishes/ condiments.</p><p>*Tonkotsu - means "pork bones" which broth has a cloudy appearance due to boiling pork bones for hours-days (emulsion). Somehow milky in taste and *Chashu (seasoned simmered pork but some also uses chicken) is usually partnered with it and gives more flavor if left in the ramen (This is what Hanamaki asked from Oikawa in S2 Ep. 20). *Hosomen is usually the noodles used for it.</p><p>*Shoyu - soy sauce-based broth, common, and has a clear brown appearance. Has a light herbal taste. Suits well with all kinds of meat. *Chijiremen is usually the noodles for it (What Iwaizumi cheered before Oikawa's starting serve in S2 Ep.20)</p><p>Continuation of Facts:<br/>8. Iwaizumi's hair and eyes colors: I changed what I used initially to describe his hair, "dark-brown" (color in ANIME) to "raven". I've decided that I'll use "raven" from now on to differ it from Oikawa's "brunette" hair, and since this is Iwa's hair color in the MANGA but I'll still use the Olive-green irises which is his eye color in the ANIME ( dark brown in the MANGA &amp; gray in the Haikyuu!! Donpisha Match). He is one of the few characters who had various colors for his design.</p><p>9. Like Iwaizumi, I enjoyed Cicadas when I was a kid, but in my case, I never tried catching them. Bugs don't bother me, unlike reptiles and amphibians. I'll rather have a random bug in my room than those cold-blooded vertebrates.  I only knew that they have a short life from Iwaizumi's answer. I occasionally found their exoskeleton on my bed sheet or on our curtains but that was like 10 years ago. So writing this chapter is nostalgic and fun!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 7 - The Goat and Scapegoat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><b> for those who chose NOT to read the "Nightmare" (2nd part of this chapter):</b><br/>Content &amp; Trigger Warnings at the BEGINNING NOTES</p><p>Tooru found himself near a *Torii gate which exists in a place consumed by darkness until he meets a goat. It blamed him for unknown reasons &amp; ended up running away. Involuntarily, his feet ran after it. Suddenly, the goat helplessly burned to death in front of him, then another goat appeared. It witnessed the 1st goat's death &amp; ran away out of fear. Again, involuntarily, he ran after it. Familiar words echoed around him, which made him more uncomfortable until people wearing black cloaks &amp; *Noh masks appeared. They blamed the 2nd goat &amp; praised Tooru instead. It also died but this time in his hands.<br/>Running towards the Torii gate, believing that the gods could save him, an earthquake ensued. Crying out of desperation as his only hope crumbles in front of him, a familiar voice of a woman instructed him what to do next. Climbing up to his way out, he found his faceless mom. Slowly the horror below consumed that place too. As he tried to reach out for his mom, suddenly a rope around his neck hindered him from taking more steps &amp; ended pulling him up.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b> PLEASE READ</b><br/><b> [Content Warning]:</b> Implied sexual content in the first part of this chapter and a Long Nightmare (which is the focus for this chapter) for the 2nd half. I added these tags too.</p><p><b> [Trigger Warning]: </b> Long nightmare contains Animal Death, Burning, Lamentation, Cruelty, Subtle Hints Of Blood, Subtle Hints About Hanging.</p><p> </p><p>  <b> END NOTES FOR DEFINITIONS</b><br/></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing that Tooru did when he woke up was to open and peek out the window that is beside his bed. He tried to appreciate, once again, the new scenery that has been with him for the last few months. Tall buildings, busy feet against the streets, bicycles on the proper lanes, long waiting lines either at the station or at the bus stop; the typical scenes in a university student’s life in Tokyo. Living in a new apartment that is just fifteen minutes far away from his university did not have any major effect on him unlike some who claim to experience being homesick.</p><p>His phone vibrated nearby but when he went to search for it, he couldn't find it. While looking for it, the sheets beside him shifted. He flinched and looked at it, getting excited, he closed the window then hugged the form that is being molded by whatever the blanket is covering.</p><p>“Kai-chan!!”</p><p>“Kai-…chan?” A sleepy voice of a teenage girl, probably at the same age as him, was heard under the blanket.</p><p>One night stands have been one of his past-time activities this semester. Every young university student that he meets at random night clubs at some of his weekends always ends up on this same messy bed. As usual, he never remembers their names, not even their smells; everyone is nothing but for the sake of satisfying his desires.</p><p>“Oh. Thought it was my cat.”</p><p>“You have a cat?”</p><p>He smirked and moved his hands south from the woman’s stomach. The girl shuddered under his touch which increased his confidence.</p><p>“Well, isn’t this…,” his warm morning breath embraces the right ear of the girl, nibbling her earlobe slowly, which made her lean closer to him. “...called pussy?”</p><p>They went for another round that morning, indulging themselves and giving in to their carnal instincts, the phone he was looking for now long forgotten. After that, they parted ways. Not even having a formal goodbye from each other — just another day spent with someone he knew that won't truly satisfy him.</p><p>His phone vibrated again, this time he carefully listened to where it was coming from. When he found it, he swiped to unlock it, five notifications are shown from his notification tab. Three from her mom, one from Hanamaki, and one from his brother which he did not expect.</p><p>He laid back on his bed, ignoring the smell of sex that lingers on it, then clicked on the first message that he received; it was from his brother.</p><p>“<em> Just a heads up. He came today.” </em></p><p>It was just a short and simple message but the meaning is clear. He groaned at that thought of the unwanted visitor at their house in Miyagi right now, then he checks on her mom’s messages which he already knows what could be the possible contents. After reading and not replying to her mom, he finally opened Hanamaki’s message, to be exact, voice message.</p><p>“Hey, great Oikawa-san! How many have you been sleeping with right now? How are the dicks and pussies there? C’mon, dude I ain’t voice messaging you after a long time just to know that you ain’t having fun there! Remember what I told you before? DON’T. FORGET. ABOUT. THE. CONDOMS. We don’t need any accidents ruining our fun, understand?”</p><p>A smile painted on his face upon hearing the voice, it has been months since he contacted his friend. He chose to isolate himself from Miyagi, and Hanamaki was not an exception. Luckily, his light brown-haired friend respected his decision when he told him about it before he moved to Tokyo. Hanamaki still sends messages and sometimes some photos, but he never replied to any of them. He feels guilty about it especially at the times when he randomly thought of cutting his friendship with him.</p><p>His chest tightened, he shifted to his side and reached out for his pillow to hug it. Clenching his jaws, as he remembered how he felt for the last few months. Even though he decided to isolate himself from the place which he calls home but never felt like one, an overwhelming feeling still accompanies him. It has become so close to him like a friend, but all it does is hurt him until he feels numb. It has become a part of his daily routine, remembering the past, what he could have done about them, but the guilt of the past slowly consumes him.</p><p>He always finds himself staring at nothing. Though university and volleyball are still intact, once he is alone in his apartment – unless he has someone to have fun with for the night, invites the reality that he cannot escape. He has always been guilty.</p><p>“Now, now, getting straight to my shit. Matsukawa and I are finally fuc-… I mean DATING! But yeah no fuc-… ANYWAYS, we are going to watch an official volleyball match tomorrow for our date but my man accidentally bought two more tickets, when I already told him for the nth fucking times that I already bought them. So, up for it? Don’t you dare ignore this lovely message from your sexy Makki! Hoping to hear from you soon, babe! I miss you soooooooo much! Ok, byE MATSUKAWA FINALLY WENT OUT OF THE SHOWERMDFJOH HE-..”</p><p>He chose to leave the voice message on seen, left his phone beside him, and tightened his hug to his pillow. At this point, he has no will to go home for this weekend, especially that his dad is there. He clenched his fists upon remembering the face of the man that he despises the most. When he closed his eyes, the gentle face of that man appeared. A painful lump formed in his throat as he drifts away to another world that tortures him.</p><hr/><p>
  <em> The moment he opened his eyes, a large glowing vermilion *Torii gate, in all its glory, stands in front of him. The place has nothing but darkness and the sturdy gate, and a whiff of something burning can be smelled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Am I in a shrine?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A harsh gust of wind blew against him from the south. It was abrupt but every hit felt like sharp slashes that easily cut through his skin, covering his face using his arms to avoid the dust that might get on his eyes. Once the gust stopped, he carefully opened his eyes, arms still covering his face for being cautious and legs wobbling in fear, he heard a movement from a nearby bush. He took a deep breath and forced his feet to walk so he could examine the bush. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The moment he took the first step, a goat suddenly came out from behind the bush. It stared at him which made him stop taking more steps further. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You... It was all because of you.” the quavering voice of the goat. Then it started to run away from him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For no reason, his feet suddenly run after it as if it has its own mind. Not long after that, as he came closer to the goat, the pitch-black surroundings were slowly being painted by scarlet lights from the ground. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Stop! Stop running after it!” he shouted to his feet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You could have done something to save us, Tooru” the goat said. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Another goat came out from somewhere, and there in front of his eyes, he watched as the goat he first saw burned at where it was standing. It cried for help, wailed in pain, and gnashed its teeth. He wanted to help, to do something to save it, but his feet would not budge. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Stupid feet! C’mon! It’s just right in front of you!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The goat wailed one last time, so loud that he needed to cover his ears until he saw that finally, it turned into ashes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It was right in front of me but I-…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The other goat went near the ashes, its eyes were hollow, it was horrendous. It also started running away from him and to his dismay, his feet started running after it as well. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Stay inside that room! It is because of you why mom is crying! You could have admitted it in the first place! Take that! Die!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He heard that familiar line echoing around him while chasing the second goat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Shh... Do not tell your mom, okay? Or else, she’ll get angry, you don’t like that, do you?” Another familiar line whispers around him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Then weepings can be heard from the direction that the goat kept on running to. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Die! All of you, die! None of you truly cares! All of you are nothing but hypocrites!” a raging voice of a woman echoed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He tried to cover his ears again until he felt that his hands were wet. His hands smelled something like rust, something fishy, something that is unpleasant. When he was about to check his hands, the goat wailed, he heard it choking. To his surprise, he saw that his hands are now suddenly wrapping around its neck. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What?!” he tried to stop himself, but it is useless. His grip just continued to tighten as the poor victim tried to escape from being strangled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I… It’s..n-not… my-.. fau-“ </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No! It’s not your fault! It’s my fault!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He heard murmurs creeping around him, they were six people, no – around twenty people wearing black cloaks and different types of*Noh masks. Everyone chants an unknown language behind the masks and the goat shudders when they start pointing at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “IT WAS YOUR FAULT!” the people blamed the goat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “NO, IT WASN’T ITS FAULT! IT’S MY FAULT!” he shouted to the people. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The goat started to burn and immediately, unlike the previous goat, turned into a vapor and rose. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “This is all wrong! It should be me taking the blames!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He runs again but this time it was of his own will. He heard how the people wearing masks praised him, saying they love him. He cannot feel anything around him, not even how the ground feels against his soles. The scarlet light continued to brighten which later revealed that they were from burning fires that seem to be the end of that place. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “How? Where? I need to get out of this place!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He found himself running forward to the same place where he first came, the vermilion gate still glows which gives a good landmark to where could be his way out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s the place! If I go through that, I will be with the gods and they'll save me!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> He gets closer and closer to the gate. A light of hope started to lit up within him not until the ground started to shake. The earthquake’s intensity was too high that it made him fall to the ground. He tried to stand up but when he saw the gate crumbling right in front of his eyes, he shouted out of desperation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “NO!” his throat hurt when it choked from a lump he did not know that he was holding. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Run if you can! Crawl if needed! Look! There is a rope, climb out of here!” the woman’s voice sent him to nostalgia, even driving him to hesitate on escaping. It was a voice that never fails to comfort him, but he needed to obey. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> So, he crawled and crawled until he reached the rope. He climbed, he tried to ignore everything, he just wanted to get out, for everything to end. His breath hitched as he tried to stop himself from crying, even when his palms hurt and started to bleed, he continued to climb. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> At the peak, he saw a floating stage, and there he climbed and rested on it. Above, it was bright and quiet, and there, a faceless woman welcomed him. She is wearing an apron full of food stains. She just stood there doing nothing, but her presence radiates longing for the people she loves. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Mom!” he did not know why he shouted it despite the person being faceless. He tried to come to her side but he was stopped by a rope around his neck. The rope was thick. He felt a knot behind his head while trying to remove it, and as he moves it tightens around his neck. The bright surrounding started to be tainted by the horror of the place below him. The rope continued to tighten. He gasps for air as he struggles, especially now that he is being pulled upward by the rope. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t you wanna die?” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He woke up crying. Overwhelmed by the various emotions he felt from such a nightmare after a long time, he stood up and headed to his fridge to have a drink from a water bottle. He drank too fast making it too painful to swallow and end up spitting it. His knees were still weak, so he slid down to the floor and hugged his knees as his tears streamed down his cheek. When he finally succeeded in calming himself, he went back to his bed, struggling to find his phone again.</p><p>He swiped, typed then sent a reply to a message.</p><p>“Sure, I’ll come tomorrow. I missed you so much, see you!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Definitions/ Clarifications:</p><p>Nightmare: Scapegoat &amp; Blood in Hands - represent guilt</p><p>*Torii gate - is a traditional vermilion gate found in every entrance of "Shinto" shrines. It represents the transition from the earthy world to the spiritual world. So, this shows what religion is Tooru's family practicing in this universe. In chapter 4, it was mentioned that they visited a "Shrine" in New Year.</p><p>*Noh mask - is a mask carved from "Hinoki" (Japanese cypress), that bears the different type of expressions. This is used for "Noh" (a major traditional Japanese dance-drama). This is worn by actors to show emotions and supply it with the appropriate body language, allowing the imaginations of the audience to be simulated.</p><p>Rope around his neck - Hangman's Knot</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 8 - Among the Crowd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I apologize for the updates are later than my previous ones!! Finals has already started in Univ and I need to focus more on it~</p><p>For this week, 2 Chapters will be published!</p><p>Again, Thank you so much for reading and for the KUDOS!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The gray nimbostratus clouds welcomed him when he woke up earlier than his usual time. The gloomy ambiance hints at the coming of the rain. He shivered when the cold air from his stand fan blew on him, slowly registering on his mind that the current temperature of his room is lower than what he can tolerate. Still lying down, he stared blankly at the white ceiling, thinking that he should buy a <em> *Kotatsu </em>sometime. So, he unfolded his blanket that rests just beside his pillow, waiting to be used by him once in a while when the temperature gets unbearable like today. As he stretched the blanket to fully cover himself, thunder roared and heavy raindrops started to shower, making him lazier to come out of his bed.</p><p>Usually, he prefers it this way even during the winter but lately, his body finds it difficult to cope up with his surroundings, especially when he knows that something inside him is changing but he cannot identify what it is. He turned to his side then hugged his other pillow, as he was about to try going back to sleep, his phone vibrated.</p><p>He swiped it and 2 notifications greeted him, the first one came 14 hours ago which probably when he was already asleep last night – no, maybe when he was trying to sleep.</p><p>
  <em> “OH MY FUCKING GOD OIKAWA! YOU FINALLY BREATHED! Ok so see ya’ tomorrow, 10 am at the nearest Lawson from Sendai Gymnasium.” </em>
</p><p>To be honest, he does not feel like coming today. Not that he is not into it but nothing excites him anymore and what is worse, even Volleyball fails these days. His performance in his university’s volleyball team might not be wavering, but the fact that he is like the walking dead in this lively world has been taking a toll on him. Milk bread now tastes bland while sex on the weekends has just become a routine. It has always been an unending cycle, not to mention the daily demanding roaring voices in his mind.</p><p>He clicked the second notification and it showed a video message sent by Hanamaki, showing him and Matsukawa lying down on a bed. The latter wearing his reading glasses while a book in his hand while the former pouting beside him.</p><p>
  <em> “Idk which era my man came from, we still haven’t fuck after a few months of dating. The world will probably end soon and I don’t want him to die a virgin. So much hate. I’m so pent up, Oikawa. Let’s fuck tomo-” </em>
</p><p>One of Matsukawa’s thick brows rose when he heard his boyfriend’s louder-than-usual voice. He put his book on the side table and suddenly grabbed Hanamaki by his waist. Tooru noticed from the video message, that the taller guy is whispering something to the light brown-haired which made the latter grin mischievously. The video ended when Matsukawa grabbed the wrist holding the phone and accidentally clicked the end button.</p><p>Tooru found himself smiling – finally. The thought of him joining the two later – well, to do something wholesome, becomes appealing now. He still misses them, even Miyagi despite the memories he has.</p><p>He checked the time from his phone and another notification popped.</p><p>
  <em> Summer Festival </em>
</p><p>It was his yearly reminder he has on his calendar, which he had set to remind him a month early from the date. Then he set another reminder which is a week earlier from it. Deep furrows now eminent on his forehead, as he tries to remember something that rings a bell from the word summer. When he cannot figure out what seems to be on the tip of his tongue, he finally stood up when he felt that sleep won’t come to visit him again at this hour. He headed to his kitchen and opened his fridge just to discover that he only have water bottles and an expired pudding left. So, he decided to replace his sheets after drinking from one bottle. He took and folded the dirty sheets, and put it inside his laundry bag that he will send later to the laundry shop, hoping that washing it will erase the stains – together with the memories, left from his dirty activities for good.</p>
<hr/><p>Tooru came at around 9:45 am at the convenience store. He left his umbrella at the rack just by the entrance, then bought a salmon onigiri, a milk chocolate pudding, and a hot green tea for his late breakfast. The shadows of the two cannot be seen anywhere inside, so he has decided to eat after texting Hanamaki that he already arrived. He chose to take a seat at a table with a chair facing the clear glass wall of the store. The smell of the onigiri when he tore the pack made his mouth water, the warmth from the steam of his hot green tea lessened the freezing that he still feels, while his pudding waits to be consumed at the end of his meal; nothing beats the convenience store foods for him. He fixed his eyes in front, the blue logo of the store stuck on the glass completely ignored as he stared at the busy street.</p><p>He saw a lovey-dovey couple across the street, holding each other’s hands while waiting for the <em> blue </em> walk sign to lit up. Beside them is an irritated businessman that has been looking at his watch from time to time; seems to be late to his appointment. Some teenagers also flock together among them waiting to cross the street.</p><p>He took another bite on his onigiri and enjoyed the crispy salmon in it, then took a sip from his warming green tea. The people waiting started to walk across the street and as they reached the side of the street where he is, they started to disperse taking the routes to their locations until he noticed a familiar figure among them.</p><p>It was just a glimpse but he is sure that the guy wears a gray shirt and black pants. He blinked rapidly as he tried to find again the familiar figure but the guy instantly got lost from his sight.</p><p>“Could it be-”</p><p>“Oikawa, finally!”</p><p>The brunette kept his eyes to the messy crowd, the faint familiar voice easily ignored as he tried to look for the guy.</p><p>“Earth to Oikawa???”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“WOW… It has been a long time and all you're gonna say is a half-hearted ‘oh’. Damn it!” putting his hands on the pockets of his pants, rolling his eyes as he whines while Matsukawa is still by the door, leaving the umbrella on the rack.</p><p>“We aren’t going yet?” the brunette asked as he looked at their umbrellas.</p><p>“Oh… right, we’re waiting for someone else. Sorry, forgot to give you a heads up.” The light brown-haired glance at Matsukawa who is currently talking to his phone.</p><p>“Ah… 4 tickets.”</p><p>“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind?” Hanamaki, who is usually confident, scratched the side of his neck while averting his eyes.</p><p>“Hey, he said that he’s already here but he somehow got lost.” The tallest said as he joined the two.</p><p>“Lost? Of all places, here? Isn’t he a volleyball player?”</p><p>“Yeah, but the guy still hasn’t gotten the grasp of this city. He seldom goes to the areas outside the gymnasium once we have matches.” Matsukawa’s messy black hair is somehow drenched which made Hanamaki chuckle, the former just smirked at his boyfriend before he greeted the brunette.</p><p>“Hey, Oikawa, been a long time.”</p><p>Tooru gestured his famous pose to greet the tallest then ate his last bite of onigiri, took a sip from his warm tea, and started opening the lid of his pudding.</p><p>
  <em> Well, at least I’m not just gonna be third-wheeling here. </em>
</p><p>“Well babe, then I’ll get some snacks we can eat inside, go find your friend first.”</p><p>It did not take long for Matsukawa to come back, again leaving the umbrella on the rack but now another guy who also got slightly drenched hair is with him. The guy wore a denim jacket over a gray hoodie, face with an irked expression as he says something to the taller.</p><p>Hanamaki managed to pay for the snacks and drinks when the two came. Matsukawa went immediately to him and helped him by carrying one of the paper bags.</p><p>“Being the gentleman huh” Hanamaki teased.</p><p>“Well, since has I never been one?”</p><p>Ignoring the usual banters of the couple, Tooru gulped the current pudding on his mouth, licking the side of his lip to get rid of any pudding left that might ruin his look, and then he stood.</p><p>“I-… Iwa-chan!!”</p><p>The brunette waved his hands excitedly, a broad smile reaching his ears as his eyes sparkle at the sight of the guy that has just joined them. The couple’s attention was immediately caught by the sudden change of his mood.</p><p>“Iwa-chan?” the couple chorused looking at each other in confusion.</p><p>The guy who just finished putting his umbrella at the rack, flinched when he heard the nickname as if it is a name that he got called numerous times. Carefully he looked towards where the voice came and his eyes widened when he saw the brunette.</p><p>“Oikawa-san?”</p><p>“Ok so, what do we not know here?” Hanamaki moved the paper bag onto his left arm, clutching it between his arm and side, as he put his right hand on his waist, eyes beady with his notorious grin as he looked at the two.</p><p>“He is the guy I told you before!!” the brunette’s eyes continue to sparkle as he recalls that day.</p><p>Hanamaki’s mouth gaped, remembering the story about Iwaizumi.</p><p>“Oh my god, that’s you?!”</p><p>“Ok, now I’m the one who is totally clueless here, guys.” Matsukawa said.</p><p>“We suddenly met before somewhere, around March, and he ended up treating me a ramen.” The brunette’s broad smile never fades making his teeth more visible.</p><p>Matsukawa glanced apathetically to Iwaizumi, perhaps implying something in which the latter answered him with a more irked expression.</p><p>“I’m Hanamaki, your friend’s bitch.” stretching his hands towards Iwaizumi for a handshake and he accepted it.</p><p>“Bitch?” the raven-haired whispered, too soft for Hanamaki to hear but Matsukawa still caught it.</p><p>“Ignore him, he’s kinda crazy… but I love him.” The tallest murmured to the shorter.</p><p>Hanamaki was too busy blabbering something to Tooru but the brunette still managed to hear the two’s soft discussion. He smiled at the sight of the 3 people with him, it is lively again, a warm atmosphere; a good company to keep him from the looming shadows that have been accompanying him.</p><p>Once again, he looked at Iwaizumi who now has a more relaxed expression while talking with Matsukawa. He had a sudden urge to get to know more about Iwaizumi, not to mention that he is also a volleyball player. Unconsciously observing the guy's appearance, something rings a bell about him. It’s at the tip of his tongue. As he got deeper into his thought, the raven-haired looked at him, olive-green irises staring at him that sent him a refreshing atmosphere. Maintaining eye contact, he realized that perhaps even in a crowded world, one could still stand out among the crowd despite lacking distinctiveness and that is something he wanted to discover more. What is it there to unfold about a normal person? What is it that made the unnoticeable to stand out the most? He continued to wonder.</p><p>
  <em> So, he’s not just wearing a gray shirt… I shall get my eye checked up soon. </em>
</p><p>“And enough for the introductions, let’s get in now!” Hanamaki cheered as he sneaked a kiss on Matsukawa’s cheek, making the latter wear a fond gaze towards his crazy boyfriend.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Definitions:</p><p>*Kotatsu - is an electric heat source (formerly used a charcoal brazier), it is a low wooden table that is covered by a *Futon while a table-top sits above it. This is a cheaper choice for insulation than centralized heaters. In summer, the futon can be removed so it can be used as a normal low table. One may also take a nap under it and models these days are safe.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 9 - Wanderlust Before the Twilight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>How was it so far? It would mean a lot to me if you could recommend this to someone you know would like the plot ^^</p><p>I'm thinking of making a special individual work for the MatsuHana of this universe, should I? and if Yes, any expectations? Share your opinion about this idea in the comments~<br/>But I'll do that work (if ever many of you would vote for it) once this work is done.</p><p>Definitions and Facts in END NOTES! Thanks for the KUDOS!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They went inside the gymnasium and took their seats according to their ticket numbers. Due to the different dates that the tickets were bought, Tooru and Iwaizumi’s seats are kind of far from the couple.</p><p>“Too bad we can’t be all together, thanks to my dumb man.” Hanamaki pinched the side of his boyfriend which did not fail to make the other back away.</p><p>“It’s fine! Really. Besides this is your date, go and enjoy yourselves. The seat upstairs isn’t that so bad though.” the brunette glanced knowingly at Iwaizumi.</p><p>“Yeah. I’m cool with it as well.”</p><p>Upstairs, they sat on their seats together. Tooru puts the paper bag on his lap then hums as he roams his eyes to the familiar gymnasium. The crowd has always been excited, some team’s cheering squad started to enter and take their school’s seat, the athlete’s started to stretch their well-toned bodies to be ready for the official warm-up, the smell of the familiar ointment fills the air; all these sent a prick on his chest.</p><p>
  <em> Damn. If we could have just won over those crows last Spring High… </em>
</p><p>“Did you say something?” Iwaizumi’s voice, which he forgot was beside him, startled him.</p><p>“Have I thought too loud?” chuckling, he opened the paper bag and brought out a salted potato chip bag, opening it and bringing it close to Iwaizumi, “here, have some.”</p><p>The raven-haired took a handful of the chips, used his other hand to take it one by one, and put it in his mouth. The brunette also took out one cola can and a yogurt drink. He shifted from his seat looking for a holder for the drinks but the gymnasium’s seats do not have any.</p><p>“Oh, wait…” Iwaizumi ate the chips left on his hands, brought out a hanky to wipe his palms then grabbed his cola, “I’ll just hold it and just get chips from the bag.”</p><p>The brunette put the chips’ bag on his lap, using his thighs to secure it in place. He detached the straw from the yogurt drink, tore the straw’s package, and poke it into the drink.</p><p>“I heard that you are a volleyball player, still playing?” then he sips on his drink, eyes observing the upcoming matches on the court.</p><p>“Not anymore if it’s for the official matches, I’m now taking Sports Science.”</p><p>Tooru’s brows raised and curved, he turned to face the other, then sip one last time from his straw before speaking.</p><p>“Me too!” body filled with the unusual excitement, index finger pointing on his nose as he blinks his eyes rapidly, “Where?”</p><p>“In *Liberty University”</p><p>“Oh my? We’re just like neighbors.”</p><p>“*Empirical Science University? Rivals to be exact.”</p><p>He watches the other’s nose scrunch and how his eyes slanted when he closed them; his amusement made Iwaizumi chuckle for the first time today.</p><p>“What position did you play?”</p><p>“Wing Spiker, Outside Hitter, You?”</p><p>“Setter. Too bad we ain’t in the same high school. I wonder how we could have been if we were on the same team.”</p><p>The brunette tilted his head to the side, eyes closed as he rubs his chin while humming.</p><p>“It could have been fun, I guess.” the former wing spiker shrugged as he crossed his hands and relaxed on his seat.</p><p>The brunette crossed his legs, rested one of his elbows on his knee just to rest his head on his hand. Eyes now focused in front, just like how he usually watches his opponents' recorded matches before every match.</p><p>The hours had passed as each team gave their all to win. Some players were even sent to the clinic for a first-aid, and each supporter of the teams also did not waste the opportunity for them to scream their lungs out. Half of the teams present in the gymnasium lost while those who have won, though they got the chance to advance for the next match, worried about how to survive tomorrow’s matches. Tooru knows these, that excited and nervous feeling, that accomplished feeling whenever his team wins, and that painful feeling from losing even after giving all you’ve got.</p><p>He jolted when he felt a palm over his shoulder.</p><p>“The two already stood.”</p><p>Iwaizumi gestured his head to the couples’ direction. Hanamaki who is clinging to his boyfriend’s arm turned then waved his hand that held his phone, mouthing that he texted the brunette.</p><p><em> “Lunch?” </em>1:30 pm</p><p>Upon reading the first message, his eyes squinted when he saw the second message that he received from his friend.</p><p>“You gotta be kidding me.” He whispered, perplexed when he read Hanamaki’s teasing message about them. He looked again at the couple, who are now waiting for them at the stairs to the exit. Hanamaki grinned knowingly at him.</p>
<hr/><p>Choosing a ramen house nearby as their location to have lunch is not a surprise. In fact, Tooru is craving ramen. He saw the familiar seats where his high school teammates ate after their official matches. It was fun and painful at the same time, especially when they lost during the last Spring High Tournament. The familiar place brings him to nostalgia, and yet, there is more to it.</p><p>The memory of the night when he and Iwaizumi first ate together in that certain ramen house. That unexpected encounter, except that they are now in a different location and it is not just the two of them this time. It drives him to crave more ramen.</p><p>This time he ordered the <em>Shoyu </em>ramen and requested the same noodles that Iwaizumi had before. He smiled to himself, feeling proud of how he was still able to remember the details even if it was months ago. Matsukawa ordered a *<em>Tantanmen </em>together with <em>gyoza </em>as a side dish and a <em>Tonkotsu </em>with an extra <em>chashu </em>for Hanamaki. With an expectant gaze to the raven-haired, who seems still undecided, he appreciated how the creases on his forehead deepen.</p><p>
  <em> He gives too much effort even for small things. </em>
</p><p>“I’ll have a *<em>Miso </em>ramen.” the former wing spiker finally ordered.</p><p>To his dismay from the unexpected choice, he suddenly hit the table, palms down – loud enough to make the next table turn their heads to them.</p><p>“Iwa-chan?! You should have ordered <em> Shoyu </em>!!” he whined childishly.</p><p>The others jolted, except Hanamaki who just cackled. Even Matsukawa who is usually apathetic has his eyes wide open, slowly turning his head to Iwaizumi, waiting on how the latter will react.</p><p>“O-oh… I just feel like trying something new.” still surprised, Iwaizumi gulped.</p><p>Tooru huffed, folded his hands then sat. Hanamaki, who now snickers, brought out his phone; Fingers busily tapping on the screen. Just a few seconds after his fingers stopped, Matsukawa brought out his phone. The brunette squinted his eyes at the sight of the tallest then turned his head to his friend.</p><p>“Think your shoes missed me?” a smirk on the face of the brunette.</p><p>“Hey, chill. I’m against violence.” The light brown-haired raised his hands, slightly leaning backward.</p>
<hr/><p>The gray clouds bid their goodbye as the sky gets embraced with rich hues of red-orange, and a tinge of salmon to purple as the mighty sun kisses the horizon. Their umbrellas are no longer needed, and they prepare themselves for their inevitable parting of ways. He wonders when will they meet again, when will they laugh together, and not care about the real world again.</p><p>The warmth from the ramen still lingers, comforting him, like someone’s back hugging him; not even giving a room for emptiness. Suddenly, he remembers a place he used to know. The place where the joy met the lamentations, and how the latter immediately replaced the former; wiping out even the tiniest hope.</p><p>“Oikawa-san,”</p><p>The now-familiar voice echoes through his ears, sending new sensations to his core. It was a gentle wave, like the petals blown away from a cherry blossom tree. Drifting with the fresh spring breeze, as it carefully meets the ground; there was no pain.</p><p>
  <em> Since when did my name sound desirable when someone calls for it? </em>
</p><p>“I think this time we’ll be riding the same train.”</p><p>Tooru glanced to his side, watching how this guy obliviously weakened the barriers that he built for years. He admires how both of them were still looking at the same sky just a minute ago, and now here he is, amused by the new scenery beside him.</p><p>He wanted to visit it as if the only thing he knows is to travel. He wanted to get lost in it, to let his body get drowned in it, only to be found and saved by the same presence.</p><p>“Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan!”</p><p>Iwaizumi finally faced him, deep olive-green irises met his brunette eyes. The eyes in front of him sparkle from the tears that refuse to fall – might be from the raven-haired’s prolonged staring at the sunset.</p><p>“Give me your email, even your phone number.”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>He handed over his phone when Iwaizumi stretched out his arm, palms up. He watched as the calloused fingers of the former volleyball player met the screen. Once done, the raven-haired returned it to the brunette. He noticed that the name box is not yet filled.</p><p>“Have the freedom to choose what you’ll name me there.”</p><p>Tooru cackled, amused by the newfound side of Iwaizumi.</p><p>“I-W-A C-H-A-N” he purposely spelled it out loud.</p><p>An unexpected tittering coming from the couple broke the two from their world, both amused by how things are going.</p><p>The moment he finished and saved the new contact name, he looked afar. Watching the sun as it gets engulfed by the horizon, but the light in between them embarks a new beginning.</p><p>
  <em> That was such a beautiful twilight. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Definitions:<br/>*Tantanmen - is ramen with a creamy and spicy broth from Rayu Japanese Chili Oil with a hint of peanut butter and sesame paste taste, and usually topped with ground pork (can also be served dry/ no broth). I personally had this before and even I don't like peanut butter, trust me, this tastes really good! (What Matsukawa asked Oikawa in S2 Ep.20)</p><p>*Miso Ramen - has the rich Miso paste as an ingredient for the soup-base. I wanted to try this soon and I'm now getting hungry while typing this T_T</p><p>Facts for this work:</p><p>I based their universities from real univs in Japan.</p><p>9. Liberty University - is based from Waseda Univ. (Shinjuku, Tokyo). They offer Sports Science, so I chose it as an inspiration for Iwaizumi's univ. I called it "Liberty" inspired by their motto, "Independence of Scholarship". Some more fun facts: Waseda Univ is the winner of the All Japan Intercollegiate Volleyball Championship (全日本バレーボール大学男女選手権大会) when it was founded in 1948, and currently the winners from 2017-2019. So I really like having this univ. as one of the inspirations for my fictional places.</p><p>10. Empirical Science University - is based from Keio Univ. (Minato, Tokyo), they do not offer Sports Science. I called it "Empirical Science" inspired by their way of learning, "Jitsugaku" which means Applied Science.</p><p>Both are private, prestigious universities and are also research institutions. Irl, they are rivals a.k.a "Sokeisen" (Waseda-Keio Rivalry), esp. their Baseball Team's but the term is also used by others even for non-sports related topics.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. 10 - Ajar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Read END NOTES for definition &amp; if you are up for a "bit" of spoilers for the next chapter.</p><p>A/N: The end is near for this work. Thank you to those who are still reading this! Thank you too for the KUDOS!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was fine weather on a Friday afternoon, students in Tooru’s class listened carefully to today’s topic in Psychology. Students busily tap their fingers either on their laptops or tablets, not wanting to miss any of their professor's lectures especially that examination week is around the corner. Ears focused and fingers tapping as Tooru waits patiently until the last minute of the class arrives. Occasionally glancing at his phone that he sneaked and put on his lap – set on the lowest brightness level and in silent mode, checking if another message came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost leaped from his seat as he heard the bell rang, almost tripping on his way out once he finished putting his things in his messenger bag. Ignoring some students who invited him for a karaoke night – besides, he barely remembers their names. He made his way through the exit, still being cautious not to bump on anyone, as he continued to check his phone until it finally vibrated.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“My class just ended, I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” 2:00 pm</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled after reading the long-awaited reply. He rushed to the nearest station, heart beating fast from running. The comfort inside the peaceful train cannot calm his excitement, even watching the view of countless buildings and various flashy electric ads across the train’s window cannot distract him; he has been anticipating this meeting after a tiring week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He used google maps to look for the park that they agreed to meet in a city that is unfamiliar to him. It was just a few kilometers from his university. When he finally found the park, he decided to sit on an unoccupied swing.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I just arrived. I’m just on a swing, waiting!! :9 ~” sent 2:20 pm</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He entertained himself by observing the park while gently swinging. The sounds of the kids laughing while playing fills the air, a stray dog sleeps near a bush, a couple sits at the bench happily chatting, and there is one guy that sits alone on the next bench; he thought of how the guy looks lonely beside the couple. How it could have been him if he didn’t choose to sit on the swing. Shrugging the thought, he checked his phone again, it has been past 10 minutes since the last message he sent. Tilting his head to the side as he computes the time when he rode the train until he arrived, using his fingers to count the difference. His right leg started to shake as the minutes passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He's 15 minutes late, supposed to be I’m the one to be late though. Could it be that he got lost again?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oikawa-san! I’m sorry… it took… me some time.” The voice said as he pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing the voice, as if a switch was turned on inside him, he immediately turned to greet the person he anticipates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Iwa-chan!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi bends forward, hands on his knees and panting. Once he finally calmed, he stretched his hand that held a paper bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I went to a convenience store to buy some puddings, I didn't know the line was long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could have just bought one on a vending machine?” Tooru answered as he gestured to the raven-haired to sit on the next swing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I can only buy this brand in that convenience store. Here, I also bought an extra.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tooru gladly accepted it, he noticed that it was the same flavor and brand that he bought when they went to Sendai Gymnasium weeks ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oya? And now a pudding? I’ll make sure to pay you back next time!!” thrilled to have a taste of the sweet milk chocolate pudding as he opens the lid, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Itadakima</span>
  </em>
  <span>-…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then be my friend,” The other answered casually, “that is enough for a payment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Warmth enveloped him as if the first ray of the morning sun had just bid its greetings to him – except that it is afternoon. He scooped a mouthful of the pudding and put it into his mouth first, humming as he delights himself from it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, aren’t we yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi opened his pudding then had a scoop as well, “It’s official now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After finishing their puddings and leisurely swinging as they get to know more about each other, they went home after Tooru gave the Nutrition book that Iwaizumi borrowed from him. On his way back to his apartment, he reminds himself of the small things he learned from Iwaizumi which he will surely treasure for a long time. The thoughts of how the raven-haired prefers the traditional book to a pdf file, how he admits that he lacks fashion sense or how he becomes defensive when someone says that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Agedashi Tofu</span>
  </em>
  <span> is nothing special than regular tofu dishes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Agedashi Tofu is the best! Whenever I get a bite on its crispy exterior, it’s like having a taste of heaven! I can’t believe how others don’t see its difference from the other tofu dishes”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He visualizes once again how the raven-haired’s forehead wrinkles as he gets more defensive for his beloved dish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It amused them when they finally confessed that they were the team captains of their high school volleyball team. He even failed to conceal his embarrassment when he learned where Iwaizumi attended high school and ended up lying that the blush is from the afternoon sun – it was the high school of that underrated volleyball match he once watched. He gets more embarrassed as he remembers when he learned the former wing spiker’s jersey number. Oh, what are the odds that this new friend was also the same player he was carefully watching on one of his binge-watching sessions? But yes, indeed it was him! Chewing the insides of his cheeks, he swears in his mind that he will never admit that he watches their match or how he got fond of Iwaizumi’s gameplay.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Next weekend, they have decided to meet again and study at Iwaizumi’s apartment. Tooru insisted that it would be better to study there because he still hasn’t bought a </span>
  <em>
    <span>kotatsu</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it will be troublesome if it suddenly gets cold and there is nothing to keep them warm enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi finds Biochemistry and Immunology difficult while the brunette hates Physiology and Biomechanics. Comparing their notes, sharing their understandings, and slipping in conversations about some of their lives was truly a great help for the two of them to get closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about we take a break? We’ve been burning our eyebrows for 6 hours-straight, we might end up getting the highest GPA in our classes!” Tooru whined as he pouted so he could balance his pen on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi stood up and went to his kitchen. After a few minutes, he went back with a tray on hand that has sliced apples, a bowl of healthy trail mix, and bottled green teas. Once Tooru saw the healthy snacks, his eyes sparkled, and comically wiped his non-existent dripping saliva from his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we can still enjoy eating while studying.” emphasizing the last two words, the raven-haired went back to flipping the pages from the book he borrowed from the brunette and copying the important stuff to his notebook – a smirk forming on his lips. Tooru chortled before grabbing from the bowl of healthy trail mix, a crazy idea forming now in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes, he stretched out from his seat, purposely hitting Iwaizumi’s foot under the </span>
  <em>
    <span>kotatsu</span>
  </em>
  <span> with his foot yet, there was no reaction from the other guy. He grabbed his bottled green tea and gulped, purposely letting out a loud sigh of satisfaction after, still, no reaction from the guy across him. He thought hard before the boredom could kill him until Iwaizumi finally closed the book.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you teach me how to fold a paper crane?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not a complicated question nor a favor that will give a burden. It was just a simple, honest question but he felt honored to be asked. Since when did teaching how to fold this origami make it like a new feeling? He blinked twice, doubting if this is just one of those weird dreams or one of those days when he daydreams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guy across the</span>
  <em>
    <span> kotatsu</span>
  </em>
  <span> remained dead serious as he waited for him to answer. And without further ado, he started carefully tearing a few pages from his notebook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, first, we need square papers.” folding a page into 4 equal sizes, Iwaizumi also grabbed a page that Tooru tore, and immediately copied him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then fold it diagonally, corner to corner. Then repeat it for the other side. Like this, so it will form an ‘x’. Always make sure that you fold it in an aligned manner. Once you did that, flip it over then fold it diagonally.” Tooru meticulously explains as he demonstrates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next, this one’s kinda difficult if you failed to fold the first few steps perfectly. Flip it over then turn it in a way that the corner of the square is pointing at you.” he stuck his tongue out to the side as he continued demonstrating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bring these two side corners in so they can meet in this part that is pointing at you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi carefully watches as he follows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then for this top part that’s still sticking up, press it down carefully, joining the other corners. Again, make sure you fold it perfectly – that’s the key!” being proud of his demonstration for the beginning steps, he picked up his folded paper, “See? It should resemble an accordion and that’s just the beginning!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Facing the beginner-to-paper-cranes-folding, he was greeted with Iwaizumi’s frown. He saw that his nostrils flared as his jaw tightened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my! Iwa-chan, it’s fine to get it wrong at first. Go on and try it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right after getting encouraged, the raven-haired grabbed another paper and attempted the first few steps that were demonstrated to him. The brunette took the liberty to create more square papers, assuming that they will be needing a lot. After Iwaizumi’s fifth attempt of folding it perfectly, Tooru continued demonstrating the next steps yet, the former still found it difficult to follow. Either the paper gets folded unevenly or accidentally tears it as he folds, it surely reached Iwaizumi’s limits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“AHH DAMN IT! WHY IS IT SO COMPLICATED?!” he ruffled his raven hair aggressively, nostrils flaring as he gritted his teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tooru muffled his laugh at the sight, “You… You finally got angry!!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi paused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never thought that this will finally make you lose your composure!” still snickering and amused, “I love it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi.” a flat voice from the raven-haired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked in front of him and was surprised when a pillow hit his face that made him fall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“IWA-CHAN?! WHAT WAS THAT FOR??” and then he was hit again by another pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He huffed and decided to grab the pillows so he could take his revenge. With glaring eyes to the now laughing Iwaizumi, he swung his hands holding the pillows, and hit the other. Iwaizumi was able to guard his face in time but that did not hinder him from falling to the floor, it was still strong enough. Tooru laughed hysterically, losing himself in the fun of the sudden pillow fight. Unfinished paper cranes now are forgotten – well, they can wait, but for now, they chose to be cozy in each other’s childishness.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Even after the examination week of their universities, they found themselves studying either in a café or in each other’s apartment. Milk bread started to taste sweet again, his body does not desire sex on the weekends anymore, he started learning how to prepare </span>
  <em>
    <span>Agedashi Tofu</span>
  </em>
  <span> in his free time, the nightmares have lessened, and Iwaizumi has been a ray of sunshine for him. It was too bright, too much for his eyes to stare at, but he rather has his eyes burn than seeing another day where the shadows loom wherever he looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi finally learned to make paper cranes. He watches Iwaizumi as he randomly folds them now and then, but the former wing spiker seems to be not in a rush to aim the thousandth crane. His new friend will fold in different sizes, will use different types of papers, as long as it’s feasible to fold, he will make a paper crane out of it. Yet one thing stays consistent, they were all in turquoise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why turquoise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At the right time, you will know.” is what Iwaizumi will always answer once asked about the color.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There have been times that he will come to Iwaizumi’s apartment and catch him counting his paper cranes yet end up losing track, especially when the brunette tries to distract him. And if the raven-haired is the one who visits him, he will randomly ask for turquoise papers or at least those papers that have it as the majority of the details.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a tiring yet fun console game at Tooru’s apartment, Iwaizumi flopped landing on his back after leaving the console on the table-top of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>kotatsu</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha! I finally defeated you in this stupid weird game!” the brunette wore a smug on his face, shoulders bouncing, celebrating his first win after 39 losses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah right, says the one who gets over heels for aliens.” the former wing spiker yawned, getting cozy under Tooru’s newly bought </span>
  <em>
    <span>kotatsu</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah?! Someone who is a junkie for Godzilla has no right to call me that!!” throwing his fists in the air as he continues to huff to Iwaizumi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi shifted a bit, crouching so his legs could fit under the </span>
  <em>
    <span>kotatsu</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He turned to his side, facing Tooru’s side, covering himself with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>futon</span>
  </em>
  <span> as he drifted to another world.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Such a beautiful sight.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, the brunette lowered and used his elbow to balance himself. He watches how the raven-haired’s breathing started to become even as if closing his eyes immediately brought him to slumber.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Iwa-chan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop trying so hard to fit under my </span>
  <em>
    <span>kotatsu</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you’re just 179.3 cm anyways.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iwaizumi’s fist clenched on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>futon</span>
  </em>
  <span> and a vessel became prominent on his temple yet his eyes stayed closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up. Your </span>
  <em>
    <span>kotatsu</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s legs are just about 67 cm apart from each other.” Iwaizumi murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tooru silently snickered, reminiscing how they finally came to this phase, how an unexpected meeting brought him to meet a new friend. He watches his friend sleeping like a child beside him, not even giving care for his surroundings. As he stared, he imprinted the view which he only started visiting. Now, he found himself getting lost within its depths each day. Whether it’s a good thing or not, all he wants right now is to appreciate the view beside him. A view he never knew he will get to see one day and perhaps, in the future, every day. Every time the sun kissed the horizon, the urge to open his walls grew a little bit more.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But am I ready? For what am I really ready?</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>* Agedashi Tofu - is a Japanese tofu dish that uses firm tofu cut like "pillows" covered with potato starch/ flour, then lightly deep-fried ("Agedashi") until golden brown, to make its exterior part crispy while leaving its insides fluffy. It is also served while being soaked in "katsuobushi dashi", and topped with green onions, ginger, "kombu" and bonito flakes. (Iwaizumi's favorite food based on the Character Profiles from Vol.5). Damn, I love tofu dishes!</p><p>The next update will be the longest chapter "so far".<br/>It will be someone's POV.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 11 - Where the Rock Springs Forth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[PLEASE READ]<br/>This chapter is the LONGEST so far, &amp; contains A LOT of terms but I will only explain the unusual terms in the END NOTES (some in BEGINNING NOTES because there isn't enough characters in the END NOTES). It will greatly help you to imagine the details if you will check the links I added.</p><p>The main theme of this chapter is the Buddhism part of Japan esp the Wake &amp; Funeral Ceremonies, so expect to read Buddhist beliefs and practices, &amp; few terms. There would also be a "Minor Character Death".</p><p>I had mixed emotions &amp; learned a lot of new things while writing this chapter last month. I hope you will be able to feel the emotions and appreciate the theme too!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Terms part 1:<br/>*Zabuton - a square cushion used for sitting on tatami mats.</p><p>*Gachapon - a vending-machine that dispenses toys contained in a circular plastic capsule in Japan.</p><p>I. Grandma's Yukata &amp; Accessories: I tried my best to simplify the terms &amp; reduce the use of Japanese terms so it will not be too overwhelming. Initially, I already wrote a design for a kimono for her (so it has more parts &amp; terms before) but in the end, I chose her to wear a yukata. I hope you were able to imagine how she looks! <a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcReNv-mE8aJ-ZC8605C0xnEqwmt8T8DJF-xcA&amp;usqp=CAU">This is the closest look I found on the internet</a>, somehow it looks like this from my imagination.</p><p>*"...Hairpin with Red Butterfly detail" - The hairpin I'm talking about here is a <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.japanya.co.uk%2FProduct.aspx%3FPID%3D0511431&amp;psig=AOvVaw0tHUGLR_me_HRCOx5eDRYj&amp;ust=1608073785439000&amp;source=images&amp;cd=vfe&amp;ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCOiWrfbLzu0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE">"Kanzashi"</a>. I used Butterfly as a detail for it has a lot of meaning such as Eternity because they are believed to be the form of the spirits of the dead as they take their journey/ as guides of the dead, Womanhood because metamorphosis is associated with how a girl becomes a woman, Femininity because of its grace and beauty, and Love because it's a good sign for finding a soul mate.</p><p>*"...butterfly knot of her white half-width Obi" = "Obi" is a sash wrapped at the waist to keep the yukata robe in place, it is half-width (hanhaba obi) because she wore a Yukata, which is less formal &amp; lighter than Kimono. "Obi" can be knotted in different "Musubi"(knot), &amp; one of the knots is the <a href="https://muza-chan.net/aj/poze-weblog4/yukata-knot-chocho-musubi-big.jpg">Butterfly Knot</a>.</p><p>*"...red Obijime wrapped around the Obi on her waist" - "Obijime" is a decorative braided cord that is wrapped over the Obi (sash) &amp; tied in front (there are 3 types of knots: For occasions, informal and mourning, so be careful if you plan to add this on your yukata look!). It is optional for a yukata but it adds a sophisticated look. The kind of "Obijime" that I'm referring to here is called a "sambuhimo", which you use with an "obidome" that I will explain later below.</p><p>*"...white crane patterns embroidered all over her yukata" - longevity</p><p>*"...chrysanthemum *Obidome becomes evident" - "Obidome" is an ornament made of gems/ metals/ fabrics. it can be worn with a kimono or a yukata. If this will be used, it will be inserted in a specific "obijime" (cord) called "sambuhimo". I chose <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Far.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F691513717756953059%2F&amp;psig=AOvVaw0uf8gf1sC7tEMiW7fSuRmf&amp;ust=1608073923661000&amp;source=images&amp;cd=vfe&amp;ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKjy2sXMzu0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAx">Chrysanthemum</a> because one of its meanings is longevity, as I mentioned in one of the END NOTES before. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx5i6V1-Y2A">Check this video to see what is an Obijime, a Sambuhimo and an Obidome</a></p><p>II. *Youkai &amp; Kappa- is a monster/ supernatural/ spirit in Japanese folklore, &amp; "Kappa" (human-like, amphibian-like youkai with a turtle-like shell on its back. Usually lives in rivers).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Iwaizumi’s POV]</p><p>About 4 months ago, under an unexpected circumstance, I met Oikawa in a forest I’m very familiar with. That area of the forest isn’t famous for recreation but if visitors want to camp out, they are only allowed in selected areas. I cannot blame them for coming despite the place being notorious. Where else can you see a scenery where a sea of evergreens carpeted the foot of a sacred and nearly perfectly shaped mountain? So, in the afternoon of that day, I decided to catch cicadas despite the season in an attempt to cool off my head in that forest.</p><hr/><p>That morning, as I was having my breakfast, she suddenly came home 1 year and 6 months after my dad’s wake – not to mention she did not come home for 5 years before my dad started getting ill, which eventually caused his death. From my seat, I saw her enter the front door with a suitcase in tow and a duffel bag over her shoulder. Her wavy blonde extensions lay over her breasts which are connected to her natural raven hair, her thin lips painted rouge, and her eyelashes voluptuous from the mascara that she never fails to wear; things that I’m more familiar to see than her natural face.</p><p>“I… I can’t believe that my keys will still work. I’m glad you never changed the doorknob.”</p><p>A 45 years old woman, who has lived the majority of her life with different men, and wears clothes like she is still in her blooming days. Seldom staying at home, claims that she was never cut for household chores, and yet, still welcomed every time she comes home from “work” by the most humble person I’ve ever known to exist.</p><p>“Wait. I’ll get your slippers and socks.”</p><p>My dad still chose to keep her things, saying that one day this woman will finally find her way home. I have always ignored his hopeful words because there is no way that I could win against my kind-hearted old man. So, when he died I finally had the chance to, at least, keep her things away from my sight.</p><p>I opened a box found at the cabinet of my dad’s bedroom then looked for her slippers and socks. When I found them, I went back and handed her the socks, laid the slippers on the <em>genkan </em><em>— </em>insoles facing her direction.</p><p>“Have you eaten already ?”</p><p>“Not yet.”</p><p>“I’m currently having my breakfast, we can share what I made.”</p><p>I grabbed a bowl and filled it with rice then placed it on the table while she got a pair of chopsticks and a cup. <em>Miso</em> soup, <em>natto, Agedashi</em> Tofu, and a leftover grilled salmon were only the food I made; everything in portions that is just enough for me.</p><p>
  <em>“Once she comes back… welcome her with open arms. Make her feel that she is safe in this place.”</em>
</p><p>I clenched my teeth when I remembered one of my dad’s requests before he died.</p><p>She sat on the *<em>zabuton</em> across me. The tension in the air is pretty obvious, and I have no intentions of making this worse. I went back to my seat and decided to sip my tea, hoping that it will calm my nerves. When I finally continued eating, she started to eat as well.</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry dad, but I still can’t welcome her yet.</em>
</p><p>“You became better in making <em>Agedashi </em>Tofu.”</p><p>Ignoring her compliment, I put a mouthful in my mouth, and another one, then another one. How come I would never get better at doing it? Living a life, where I have to learn everything earlier than those my age, is how it has always been. If I end up relying on my dad who is also busy with work, I would not survive.</p><p>“After this, I’ll be preparing your room. Just leave the wares on the sink, I’ll wash them later.”</p><p>My dad asked me to let her use his room once she comes back, but that is a request that I cannot grant anymore. I brought out the <em>futon</em>, assuming that she will do nothing but lay on it the whole day, and checked the cabinet for a pillow and a blanket. I have already planned on giving her this room, which was previously a stock room, but I never knew that she would come back today.</p><p>Everything was quite going okay until I heard something fall and broke into pieces. Enraged, I ran towards the kitchen just to see that she accidentally broke a cup while washing the wares.</p><p>“Ah! Stop! Don’t move!” furiously I went to fetch a broom and some newspapers.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Hajime.”</p><p>“I told you already, I’ll wash them later.” I swept from where she was standing when I finally gathered the large shards and wrapped them with newspapers.</p><p>
  <em>Damn it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Coming home after a year and a half after the man who considered her unconditionally died, and what does she expect me to do? Prepare a banquet?! Be casual about everything?! I’m sorry but I am not like him.</em>
</p><p>With my old aerial net and bug box in my hands, I went out right after cleaning the kitchen and washing the wares, hoping to revive my ruined morning. I am aware of how people are looking at me on the bus, but who cares if it’s not yet summer? I’m in the mood for a cicada catching.</p><p>The city was busy as usual, before going straight to the forest, I found myself looking at some local products. Well, I’m not in a hurry, might just spend some time checking what are the hot items for this season. I went to the first store I found just by the corner of a busy street. Inside, cute keychains were dangling at the rack, fluffy knitted scarfs were still considered a hot item, and those machines where temptation radiates, *<em>Gachapon</em>.</p><p>“Are you serious?”</p><p>I saw a <em>Godzilla</em> <em>Gachapon </em>which dispenses the <em>Godzilla Public Apology Key Chains</em>. If it’s about this monster, I can’t help but be fidgety. Hesitation is not needed, do I?</p><p>
  <em>I have to complete my keychain collection for this set! Shin Godzilla “Climax Version” and the Shin Godzilla 2 HG series have already found their home in my room, and I know I still have a long way to collect the other figures. So, for this set, I just need Hedorah to complete this series.</em>
</p><p>Thanks to my monthly allowance from my auntie, and a little bit of my savings, I was able to bring 2,500 yen today; this is just a perfect day to forget about what happened earlier. When I was about to insert my 100 yen coin, I paused and put the coin back inside my wallet.</p><p>
  <em>Damn, do I really have to buy this today though? But I deserve a reward after saving a lot for the last few months, spending 300 yen for one key chain is not that painful, right?</em>
</p><p>I opened my wallet again and saw that indeed I still have enough money even if I spend some on this. My mind went nuts.</p><p><em>AHHHH! Hajime, think properly. Now that she came back, maybe your savings for the next few months will now not be enough</em>.</p><p>As if there were two versions of me talking to my sides, I listen carefully to their points so I can decide.</p><p>
  <em>But Hajime, it’s just 300 yen, and Hedorah is the only one left for you to complete this series. This is now rare and you might not see another gachapon of it next time.</em>
</p><p>Well, that Hajime has a point.</p><p>
  <em>No, shut up other Hajime! This wasn’t in the plan, you have to only buy things that are in your plans. Spending unnecessarily is not-so-you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It feels like my soul left my body when I opened the <em>gachapon, </em>I got <em>King Ghidorah</em>.</p><p>I went out of the store, the keychain in my hand, upset because this is my second <em>King Ghidorah</em> – no, might not really upset but… <em>Hedorah </em>is just there inside, the glass as the only barrier between us.</p><p>Detaching <em>King Ghidorah</em>’s parts, so I can put it back inside the capsule, I went out of the store. The spring breeze blew on me right after I stepped my foot outside as if it was already waiting for me this whole time.</p><p>“Excuse me, young lad.” I heard a voice from a grandma just at the corner.</p><p>Thinking it was not me who she was calling, I ignored her and continued walking, heading to my initial destination.</p><p>“Oh my, young lad, you who plans to catch cicadas in spring!”</p><p>
  <em>Okay, that’s too accurate that I cannot ignore her anymore.</em>
</p><p>I turned in her direction. Her gray hair is fixed in a bun. She arranges the <em>tabi </em>and slippers on her mat, which she seems to be selling. Her hairpin with a red butterfly detail becomes visible as she moves, keeping her hair bun together. Leaning forward to her mat, making her back facing me, I adored the butterfly knot of her white half-width *<em>Obi</em>. She wears a red sophisticated-looking <em>yukata </em>and a red *<em>Obijime </em>wrapped around the <em>Obi </em>on her waist. As I came closer to her, the white crane patterns embroidered all over her <em>yukata</em> and the chrysanthemum <em>*Obidome </em>becomes evident.</p><p>She moves slowly, which is not a surprise for her age. Once done arranging, she stayed on the side of the mat, bowed to me at a 30 degrees angle while both of her hands in front of her stomach.</p><p>“Aren’t the two of us too early for summer?” she said after she bowed, and giggled softly as she covered her mouth with her hand.</p><p>“Yes.” bemused, I can’t help but just agree.</p><p>“I have something to give you.”</p><p>“Give?”</p><p>“Please, accept this cherry blossom-patterned <em>Geta</em>.”</p><p>“<em>Obaasan, </em>but why?”</p><p>“It’s spring, but summer might come early to some.” then she giggled again.</p><p>I pondered on what she intends to convey. She seems uncanny by the way she speaks, and her aura is something unworldly. Wearing the season of youth in spring, and interesting words slipping through her lips. I admit that I am astonished.</p><p>
  <em>Summer slippers with a spring-themed pattern, huh?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Hours have passed and finding a cicada or even its exoskeleton is elusive, which I should have known better. Strolling deeply into its depths, I heard the joyful chirpings from the Willow tits and Japanese white-eyes, a Great Spotted woodpecker pecking on the bark of a dying tree, but no signs of the bugs that I’m craving to see. I walked deeper into the forest, being cautious of the roots winding along the ground.</p><p>
  <em>Wait… Have I gone to this part of the forest before?</em>
</p><p>Numerous conifers, shrubs, and herbaceous flowering plants are revealed around me as I walk. One should really go deeper into it to see more of its beauty. I continued to take the path where more of them flourishes as if they were planted purposely to welcome guests. I brought out my phone to capture this hidden beauty and while taking photos, I noticed there is a scarce phone signal in this area.</p><p>
  <em>This could go bad if I end up losing my way back.</em>
</p><p>Yet, as if the forest enchanted a spell on me, inviting me to further take more steps into its heart, my feet walked again. Nearby, I heard streams of water flowing. On a whim, I decided to go and check on it, besides, I’m also getting thirsty.</p><p>I saw a form holding black and white streamer-like things on one of its outstretched hands. It stands still not too far away from where I am.</p><p>
  <em>Shit. Is that a *Youkai?! I rather encounter Godzilla than a *Kappa!</em>
</p><p>A low growl from my stomach distracted me from seeing things – Yup, I firmly believe that I’m just too hungry so I'm just seeing things.</p><p>As I gathered my courage, tightening my grip on my net and bug box, the form started to move – No, it was falling! It wasn’t a <em>kappa </em>or any type of <em>youkai, </em>it’s a person! A sudden rush of adrenaline made my hands lose my grip on my things, and run towards the guy.</p><p>
  <em>How far was it? 3 meters? 5 meters? Am I going to reach him in time?!</em>
</p><p>“Oi-…Oi!”</p><p>As I get closer, the streamers dangle in the air as the guy falls. I shouted to call out for his attention though I know that would not do anything. In no time, I grabbed his forearm, which is the part I only managed to reach. Panting, I felt my hands become sweaty but I have no time to get embarrassed. I just found a random guy who was about to commit suicide. I don’t know him, where he came from, or his reasons. All I know is that I need to stop him.</p><p>The guy opened his eyes in shock, and I started to panic about what I should do next. Despite being surprised, he was able to be compose again, as if he was never perturbed by my sudden interference. I waited for him to say anything but he just looked at me and hummed. His face looked calm, and his smile was too obvious masking his true feelings.</p><p>
  <em>What should I say? C’mon, Hajime. Think!</em>
</p><p>“I-…I’m lost. Can you show me the way out?”</p><p>
  <em>Great. What a lame excuse, Hajime.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>On our way back to the entrance of the forest, I chose to walk behind him, and there I noticed that he was barefooted. I bit my lower lip to repress my urge to ask about it, then a familiar buzz miraculously was heard from a distance.</p><p>“Came here to catch cicadas?” the guys asked me in a friendly tone.</p><p>“Uhh… yeah”</p><p>“But it’s still spring, isn’t it?”</p><p><em>“…summer might come early to some.”</em> the words echoed in my head. I wondered what the grandma's words might mean. I felt my cheeks flushed, feeling embarrassed for the first time today.</p><p>"Well, as we both heard just now, there are some who appear during spring."</p><p> </p><p>I have forgotten how long I spent my time here. Somehow, I am glad that I chose to stay longer. I wondered how this guy feels. I watched him carefully as he put the paper crane chain inside the duffel bag that I never noticed when I entered the forest.</p><p>
  <em>What should I do now? Should I just leave him?</em>
</p><p>I noticed that he seems to have a healthy build despite his tired-looking eyes. I wondered how long could this guy be suffering, what pushed him to his limits, and decided to choose <em>that</em> as his last resort.</p><p>
  <em>Ah. Wait. Right!</em>
</p><p>I bring out the <em>Geta, </em>that I received earlier, from my backpack. I took the leisure to observe it before handing it out to him because I didn’t have the chance to take a better look at it earlier. I wonder why this is the <em>Geta </em>she gave to me among all the designs, and it was even for free. When the guy finally stood up, I flinched and stuttered as soon as I tried to talk to him.</p><p>“Uhm… An old lady gave this to me on my way here, she gave it to me for free but I think, you need this more than I do.”</p><p>“Oh… T-thanks.”</p><hr/><p>I don’t know what got into me for inviting someone I just met to have ramen with me, but one thing I’m sure of myself, I wanted to give. He seems to be awkward, which is understandable, so I did my best to be casual but not too overwhelming. His face remained calm and he never fails to be cheerful whenever he answers yet his eyes tell another story.</p><p>“…What about for your toppings?”</p><p>“Hmm… the traditional boiled egg is enough~”</p><p><em>Just a boiled egg</em>?</p><p>As I said the details of our orders to the familiar hostess, I asked in a low tone.</p><p>“Please, add a <em>Chashu </em>for the <em>Tonkotsu</em>.”</p><p>I know I’m not the best at socializing. It might be so abrupt to become too casual to a stranger, but I hope that my simple gesture could at least break the ice. While waiting for our ramens, I suddenly remembered my dad’s words.</p><p><em>“Sufferings are inevitable, there are many causes and reasons but there is always a way out. </em> <em>Life’s too short and good karma leads to a good rebirth.</em> <em> Be enlightened and you’ll overcome your sufferings.”</em></p><p>Again, I don’t know anything about him, especially about his real sufferings. I knew how it felt but I believe I can’t say that I really know how others exactly feel. Everyone suffers in various ways, in different intensities, and we respond in unique ways. That makes us all an “individual”.</p><p>
  <em>Looks like I caught a different one today huh.</em>
</p><p>I thought as I looked at my empty bug box before sending a text message.</p><p>“I might come home late. There's Miso soup in the fridge, you may heat it. I also left money in the drawer in your room. There’s a convenience store nearby. You may also order for delivery with that money.”</p><p>When the appetizers came, I kind of got disappointed since they aren’t my beloved tofu.</p><p>“You ordered these?”</p><p>“Oh, I didn’t. They give free tempura and rice for every ramen, but yeah… I ordered the colas. Y-you don’t prefer them? I can order tea instead.”</p><p>When the guy chuckled, somehow I felt satisfied. I made him chuckle, but that won’t change the fact that I stuttered again. I wondered if I was acting too showy to him. I even can’t deny that my curiosity is killing me.</p><p>“Hey… The paper cranes.” I chewed the flesh of my cheeks, hoping I’m not being too nosy right now.</p><p>Luckily, my question seems to catch his attention despite being surprised by it. I listened as he explained to me how his family religiously practices it to the point that it has been a significant symbol for them. He even showed the chain once again, explaining every detail of it. I focused on every word that he said, as my interest grew.</p><p>When he started explaining about the 2 colors – well shades as he emphasized, his lively aura was immediately changed to being cautious. Like a kitten whose fur stands while hissing towards an unfamiliar hand that stretches out for it, but in his case, he chose to warily approach the hand. Listening to his explanations, I remembered a white envelope with a black and white *<em>awaji </em>knot tied on it.</p><hr/><p>How fragile can a person be? How short can life be? Until when will this world exist? Since childhood, from time to time I have wondered about such things, read articles and books about different phenomenons. I also got fond of discovering things or insects that fascinate me. I always find myself having curiosity about different things, I can’t help but yearn to understand them.</p><p>“Dad, there’s this annoying bug in my room.”</p><p>“How does it sound?”</p><p>“hmmm… it goes miin miin miiiin, but one afternoon I heard a jin jin jin jiiin”</p><p>“Want to find where it is?”</p><p>“Sure!”</p><p>That afternoon my dad was able to find the bug which we assumed got lost and chose to stay at my room’s curtain. The sound was so loud that I can’t believe it came from a small bug when I saw it in his hand.</p><p>“This is called a cicada, usually they emerge in this season.”</p><p>“Why are they so loud? What is that for?”</p><p>“To find their mates, can you believe that this small bug’s sound is about 90 decibel?”</p><p>“Ehhh? Why would its mate get attracted by its loud annoying miin miin miiiin?? That’s too annoying.”</p><p>“Annoying can be attractive to some.”</p><p>My dad smiled at me fondly, and with his other hand, he ruffled my hair. I winced from the touch telling him I have already grown but he just continues and claims that I will always be like a puppy in front of him. After that, he let the cicada free from his hand.</p><p>“Why let it free?” I stomped my feet, a deep furrow formed on my forehead, and huffed at him.</p><p>“Every being is beautiful in their ways. Everyone shines at their brightest if they aren’t in a cage. Sometimes, it is better to set them free after appreciating them.”</p><p> </p><p>Watermelons are the best when it comes to refreshment in humid summer. In the morning, I dedicate myself to the chores. In the afternoon, I enjoy catching different bugs and setting them free after. And on some nights, I stay late remembering my day.</p><p>One night, I heard our door opened followed by excited footsteps. I heard how my dad welcomed her, the sounds of the wares and cabinet being opened, and how she laughs under the influence of intoxication.</p><p>I used to think that she was just a random stranger. A visitor, a long-distance friend of my dad. I don’t see any resemblance except that her natural hair is raven like mine. Frequently, she will break a porcelain ware when she washes them, so my dad started using wooden wares; porcelains now kept inside the cabinet. Once she tried to iron my uniform for that semester in elementary, I ended up wearing a shirt with a mini dinosaur patch. She seldom cooks as well, and when she does it’s just <em>agedashi </em>tofu that is edible. Until she didn’t visit for the next month, and another month, until it became years.</p><p>Some nights I found my dad in the tatami room that we use for receiving guests<em>, </em>he just sits there staring at the outside through the open sliding door, moonlight as the only source of light. His back figure shows integrity, and the moonlight seems like a spotlight for him alone. Usually, I just let him alone but one night, in my second year of high school, I sat with him.</p><p>It was winter that night, <em>kotatsu </em>as our only source of warmth, and a green tea between us. I poured tea on his cup first, then on my cup. There was silence as we enjoyed the healthy drink.</p><p>“Isn’t it a coincidence that we experience winter by the end of the year, and spring as the first season of the year?” </p><p>“Maybe? Or maybe not.” after that, there was a short silence between us until he spoke again.</p><p>“Once she comes back, welcome her with open arms. Make her feel that she is safe in this place.”</p><p>“Why just me?”</p><p>“Don’t worry. It is just the end of the beginning.”</p><p>He took another sip from his cup. The crack of his lips remained like hydration will never replenish them. His olive-green irises remind me of the evergreen plants I see in the nearby park. I hope that just like them, I would be able to see those eyes more full of life. I hope for time to freeze as the winter grows colder. I hope that life wasn’t so short in this current era before being reborn.</p><p> </p><p>In the fall of the next year, my dad’s kidneys finally gave up. Polycystic Kidney Disease, a disease that can be inherited. Quite a rare cause of death here as per my recent searches. It’s uncommon for people who experience this to feel the symptoms. And in my dad’s case, he only gets to be checked by the doctor when the lesion was already consuming the majority of his kidneys. We were still lucky to prolong his life with dialysis but changing his lifestyle was too late. I would like to scold him but would that heal him? Can I still turn back the time and stop him from getting hooked in drinking? Was it his fault that he was born with the gene that made him susceptible to it?</p><p>On his deathbed, I stayed for a few more hours beside him. With respect to our beliefs, I moistened his cracked lips. My tears streamed down my cheeks, and I felt numb while just staring at him.</p><p>“You said that it is just the end of the beginning, but who laughs when someone dear to them leaves?”</p><p>I contacted my relatives and scheduled the funeral right away. The professional morticians came. I handed my dad’s suit to them, and his favorite items then after that, I cleanse myself in preparation for the wake.</p><p>On the third day of the wake, the ritual ensues as the priest chants the <em>sutra</em>, and at that time she finally comes to the wake. Deprived of all types of makeup that she usually wears, and her skin covered with a simple black <em>kimono. </em>It was expected for her to be criticized but no one dares to condemn her. After the ritual, I let myself be occupied by the responsibilities of a chief mourner.</p><p>Being the only son, it is expected that I’ll be the chief mourner of his wake. The relatives of my dad came wearing their black <em>kimonos </em>with their prayer beads in their hands<em>. </em>Offering their respect to him by bowing and offering incenses then handing over their condolence envelopes to me. As I received the envelopes, I can’t help but admire the *<em>awaji </em>knots on them...</p><p>After the funeral ceremony, in return, I gave the visitors their *<em>okaeshi.</em></p><p> </p><p>“So, you would let her partake in the *<em>Kotsuage</em>?” one of my aunties whispered as the cremation started.</p><p>“We might be all blood-related, but the truth is, she is the one closest to him.”</p><p> </p><p>After 50 days, at the cemetery, where half of his ashes will be kept, his gravestone erects with his name engraved on it. Candles, flowers, and incenses offered to him placed in front of the gravestone.</p><p>“I will never be a widow nor a wife of anyone,” her voice cracked at the end of her sentence.</p><p>“But because of you, I have gained the title ‘mom’, and yet, I still failed to be one.”</p><p>My grip tightened around the urn which contained half of my dad’s ashes. Neither a rain showered nor a wind blew, only the sun rays that stretched accompanied us like it was not a day to mourn.</p><p>“I hope I can be a mom to you someday, Hajime.” and with those last words, she left like how she usually does.</p><hr/><p>“Oh… I see.” I answered him, staring into his brunette eyes.</p><p>I can’t help but smile at him even though I find it difficult. What else can I give to someone who wishes to leave? Will stopping them just drive them to yearn more for freedom? It’s too sad, and it hurts how clueless I am about what I should do. Yet, why do I care about a stranger? Is this from pity? Am I really sincere about this? I shrugged my thoughts which I know will take time for me to find the answers. What matters the most is what’s happening right now.</p><p>I continued eating my ramen and enjoyed its herbal and soy-sauce taste, and how chewy the noodles are. I glanced from my eyelashes at him, curious if he enjoyed the additional topping. The ice did break between us, and the slurpings of the soups and noodles continued to melt the ice until the brunette asked me about my cicada catching.</p><p>As I explain it to him, I am glad that he seems to have become more relaxed now. I pressed my lips together, furrowed my brows, and held my bug box. I opened the lid then eventually closed it.</p><p>“<em>Forgive and forget, these are two different things and usually go side by side. Usually, they say that it’s easier to forgive than to forget. Yet, personally, I find the former as one of the most difficult to do. I believe one cannot fully forget if forgiveness was not truly given. It takes a brave heart to truly give it to someone. Yet how could one, who finds it difficult to forgive, give it?”</em></p><p>The words of the man who is very dear to me, even though he is not here anymore, his teachings remain like a seed that is waiting to be cultivated in me. I am not one to be considered enlightened but what’s certain is the uncertainty. People change, they might improve or not, and to some this chance won’t come.</p><p>I continued to explain and he listened. His eyes now glisten about the short-lived life of the cicadas. Again, I can’t help but smile as somehow I know now what I wanted to give to him.</p><p>
  <em>It’s a chance to be free.</em>
</p><hr/><p>I unlocked the main entrance with my key, lights were off in the <em>genkan</em> but I caught a glance at the light that comes from the kitchen. Removing my outdoor shoes, and then changing into my indoor slippers and socks, both my aerial net and bug box in my hands, I stepped forward to the corridor to my room.</p><p>“Hajime, you’re home. Have you eaten already?”</p><p>I paused. Tonight, she wore an apron and it was full of stain, her extensions were not found, and I thought of how short her lashes really are. As she rubs her hand on her apron, fixing its folds, I saw band-aids wrapped to some of her fingers.</p><p>“Yes, I’m home.”</p><p>“I cooked.”</p><p>She hurried to get the wares, and this time she chose to bring out the wooden ones. After arranging them on the low table, she went back again in the kitchen. When she came back, a plate is in her hand.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe eating a few more before going to sleep is not that bad, is it?</em>
</p><p>As the plate was finally on the table, I stared at it. She prepared an <em>agedashi </em>tofu.</p><p>“I’m sorry since this is the only thing I can cook which is quite acceptable, I was only able to prepare this without burning the house. I hope you won’t get tired of it.”</p><p>“How can I get tired of my favorite food?” I said, gathering confidence to continue what I wanted to truly say, as I crouched then crossed my legs, “It has always been my comfort food.”</p><p>Her hands shook while pouring tea on my cup. I caught a sight of the water forming on the corners of her eyes.</p><p>“You are finally home, mom."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Terms part 2:<br/>III. Buddhist Funeral Ritual in Japan - the majority of the ritual is where the Buddhist part of Japan enters (others may follow the Shinto Ritual).</p><p>*Awaji Knot - is a type of <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fmangadejapan.com%2Farticles%2Fdetail%2F967&amp;psig=AOvVaw3Y1pHppZ2zHhot5M7zNvz4&amp;ust=1607922425877000&amp;source=images&amp;cd=vfe&amp;ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKDq2fqXyu0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAK">"Mizuhiki"</a> (decorative knot for gifts), under the "Musubi-kiri" category of Mizuhiki (knots that are difficult/ cannot be unraveled) which meant to say/ wish something "to happen once only" or "would want to avoid to happen again" such as for Funerals (found on <a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/6pm62kXYDqcjoQLOtXvKokWyec2dcGbi2nWHRJZFQpUCM0beZCDFVPPojfz1AnHtaK3EcLZ5ve8eeS4dIL7K4oKO-I0UJKsdk3XUWEwFw21AMcMcUupsYP5B">condolence envelopes</a> &amp; Weddings. For celebrations, another type of knot is used instead. Black &amp; White are for funerals while Red &amp; White are for celebrations.</p><p>*Professional Morticians - are called "Nokanshi" (Encoffiners), they washed the body, blocked the orifices with cotton, &amp; prepared the casket. </p><p>*Kotsuage - is a practice after cremation during ash collection, when family and relatives use long chopsticks to pick the bones of the deceased &amp; passed from chopsticks to chopsticks (that is why it is taboo to pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks on a daily basis) and arrange them inside the urn from the bones of the feet to the skull.</p><p>*Okaeshi - return gifts to the visitors that offered condolence money.</p><p>Facts:<br/>11. Title of this Chapter - Rock [岩 Iwa] and Spring (Fountain) [泉Izumi] are from the Japanese characters from Iwaizumi’s surname. I used "spring" as in moving upward if it isn't obvious. The title has 3 meanings: 1.) the goal of this chapter is to also show the background of the Iwaizumi of this universe, 2.) somehow it also reminds me of the "rocks that have spiritual energies" from the Shinto belief, and 3.) "usually" these rocks that have spiritual energies are in a body of water, so somehow that is like the River (Oikawa) meets the Rock (Iwaizumi).</p><p>12. Godzilla Gachapons &amp; Characters - I had fun adding them because I never knew that Godzilla has many forms &amp; movies. I enjoyed searching for certain series of Gachapons to use &amp; I find "Godzilla Public Apology Key Chains" cute. I also end up watching some Godzilla Gachapon Unboxings &amp; they helped me to choose which series to use. Perhaps, I might add another Godzilla in a certain future chapter! Though they are no longer available as Gachapon these days (assume the timeline of this chapter is when these series were still available), I read somewhere that some sell it on Amazon. Check out <a href="https://comicbook.com/anime/news/godzilla-apology-press-conference-toys-keychains-viral-japan/"> to see Godzilla, MechaGodzilla, and King Ghidorah apologizing and a cute, Hedorah who refused to apologize</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. NOT AN UPDATE ABOUT THIS WORK</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my personal message. I apologize if ever I made anyone's hopes high, thinking this is an update. It would really matter to me if you will read it until the end. And, without further ado, kindly proceed to my message below.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the Chapter Title says, this is not a Chapter Update, and I'm truly sorry for it.</p>
<p>I've been ia for more than a month already and it's already February 2021 as I'm typing this here. I felt the urge to type this in order to assure you that "I WILL STILL UPDATE". If you're one of those who gave KUDOS or one of the silent readers of this work, "Don't worry, this work is still a WIP, and I AM PLANNING TO FINISH THIS since Day 1". 2020 has been a very rough year for everyone, and as my 2020 ended, my personal problems continued to increase resulting in my mental health worsening esp. this January 2021. Therefore, I find it very difficult to draft the plot (I have and still drafting the chapters!!).</p>
<p>This work is very close to my heart though, I know this ain't like other works that will attract readers from this fandom immediately. Yet, I'm grateful to the readers (even just for a simple Hit) who tried to check this out and believed in me... believed that the story of the IwaOi from this universe will (eventually) sail despite the genre (is that a sPoiLEr?).</p>
<p>I still study many subjects/ topics before using them in this work. I still edit whatever I have written in my drafts (and I still feel anxious even after my betas checked it; maybe that's just how it is?). I still ask for the opinions of my 2 betas (finally, 2 of my friends willingly agreed to evaluate my work). I still consult REAL people before including the subjects/ topics I use here because I still want to use a big % of real-life situations and a touch of fiction in this work. I still learn and discover new things. I still aim to improve in writing even it's just for the fandom. I hope that whoever is STILL reading this work can see the subtle messages. They are just there. Sometimes, what you read is not what it really means. And, I just want my readers to have the freedom to imagine, to theorize, or even to discover.</p>
<p>For just a few sharing about my current situation~<br/>
I chose to have a rest in my study this sem (will probably go back next sem). The pandemic situation greatly affected us, and my college course is at high risk of getting infected (will not get more detailed about this), that is why it has been taking a toll on me since online classes is the least effective education system for us (I enrolled last sem and I-just-felt-like-a-guinea-pig-studying-just-for-the-sake-of-checking-out-if-online-classes-are-effective-for-my-course). So, I will be spending the majority of this period 1.) to seek help for the betterment of my mental health, 2.) to help my family earn funds, and 3.) continue to improve on my hobbies to destress (that includes working on this work! yey!).</p>
<p>This is becoming too long... I'M SO SORRY!! I hope this isn't too much. If ever you reached this part, again, I assure you that I WILL UPDATE AND FINISH THIS WORK. I already have many plots for my future new works (planning, though still unsure, to write works for IwaOi 'again', MatsuHana, Kuroo, Konoha, BokuAka, Akutagawa (BSD) or even BNHA). I will also write in diff. genres for them too! Pls look forward to it, feel free to subscribe on my acc OR subscribe to those future works to get notified! ALSO, I have finally made a TUMBLR acc (pls be nice &gt;u&lt; because it's my FIRST TIME using tumblr... it's confusing ugh). I just made these accounts so I can promote my ao3 works, if you want, feel free to follow me ^^ (there isn't much there yet)</p>
<p> <a href="https://egao-miso.tumblr.com">main tumblr acc</a><br/>
<a href="https://egao-miso-atz.tumblr.com">atz works blog: [HIATUS]</a><br/>
<a href="https://egao-miso-hq.tumblr.com">hq works</a></p>
<p>Okay, I think that's all? Look forward to an update this Feb (hopefully around 3rd or 4th week...or earlier). Please stay safe! Lastly, our Mental Health truly matters.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you read my message until the end~</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 12 - Intertwining Threads</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First of all, I'm so sorry for I failed to update around the 3rd-4th week of February. I'm sorry! Last March when I'm planning to proofread, I discovered that what I added recently to my draft wasn't saved :( Auto-save betrayed me :( Also, my 2 betas became busy so, I'm getting anxious again about my work. I really got frustrated that time that I lost the appetite to re-write what I had written... It was too long already but they weren't saved. I didn't even open my laptop for a month. Again, I'm sorry!! I'm also stressed with real-life stuff so, I can't remember what I wrote before. It took me months again to find the right condition &amp; inspiration - though I have notes for the plot of this work - to continue writing this again.</p><p>I hope you still want to read the upcoming updates! As usual, check my END NOTES for definition of terms &amp; some clarifications/ facts for this work.</p><p>PS. I noticed that KUDOS, SUBSCRIPTION, &amp; BOOKMARKS still increased despite my hiatus. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! That fired (and pressured) me up hahaha</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Iwaizumi’s POV]</p><p>The bright sun rays, which made their way to my room soon as the sheer curtain swayed with the morning breeze, awaken me as it hit my face. Summer, which is the season of youth, has finally arrived this year. The morning breeze still has its coldness as if spring still lingers – as if it hesitates to move on, but soon as the sun finally radiates in the blue sky, its warm glory completely overthrows every remnant of spring.</p><p>Soon as I finally came to my senses, I went to my bathroom that I may wash my face before going to the kitchen. Today is a Saturday, and this week, out of the blue, I decided to go home to Miyagi for the third time this semester. Unlike my usual weekend routine of either meeting Oikawa for a study session or spending some time at Matsukawa’s place since his university is also in Tokyo, for an unclear reason, I chose to spend my weekends here.</p><p>The kitchen smells like the usual – anosmic, and free from any kinds of stains. <em>Wait, what?</em></p><p>After a few seconds, a whiff of something that has a spicy floral and clove-like scent slowly registered to my nose. I turned my head and there, around six pink carnations are in a vase that stands alone in the middle of the low table. I roamed my eyes in the tatami room that we consider as our dining and living room, and there I found two more vases; one contains white carnations while the other one has dark red carnations. The kitchen doesn’t smell of any kind of danger nor any signs of burn are present, instead, a faint floral scent fills the atmosphere. It was calm but an unusual feeling creeps within me.</p><p>
  <em>What happened here for the last few months that I didn’t go home?</em>
</p><p>That’s when I realized that I haven’t seen any of <em>her </em>shadows ever since I went home last night.</p><p>
  <em>Did she go back to her “work”? Did she go somewhere? Did she left agai – …</em>
</p><p>My chest tightened, and somehow despite the fragrance that accompanies me, it felt difficult to breathe. I went to my dad’s room to check if she is there, yet nothing has changed except that a vase that contains white carnations are in the middle of the room. I closed the sliding door immediately and went to the next room – <em>her </em>room.</p><p> “Mom – “</p><p>A woman whose back faced me sits in the middle of the room. I noticed that without her usual blonde extensions, she has pure raven shoulder-length hair, just like how her hair looked two years ago when I last met her – when she left me again. Yet instead of a simple black kimono, today she wears a navy blue yukata.</p><p>She flinched the moment she heard my voice. She stopped what she was doing and turned to face me. That’s when I saw the medium-sized garden scissors on her hand and a striped purple carnation on her other hand – she was flower arranging.</p><p>“Hajime? You look pale, are you okay?”</p><p>Her head crooked to the side and her forehead wrinkles deepened as she examines my face.</p><p>“Are you hungry? And why does it seems that you look like in a hurry?”</p><p>“I… I just went here looking for you because there’s… no food.”</p><p>And by hearing my lame excuse, her worried face continue to become more prominent.</p><p>“It seems that you did not notice the ramen in the pot? I made one an hour ago, though it’s just an instant.”</p><p>“It’s fine!!” immediately I left her and went to the kitchen so I can re-heat the said ramen. I recall how cold sweats streamed down my temples when I was looking for her, and how a sigh of relief went out from me silently after I found her.</p><p>
  <em>Did I just panicked? For what exactly?</em>
</p><p>I must be crazy if I say that I have fully forgiven her. It has been months since she came home, and we haven’t even spent a lot of time together because of my university life; <em>she </em>remains a stranger to me. Forgiveness, just like what dad said, is the most difficult thing to do. Her lack of responsibility for almost 10 years cannot be washed away by her sudden appearance.</p><p>
  <em>How can I even forget those awful things? How will anyone expect me to forgive and accept her?! She is unforgivable.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“but forgiveness is a process”</em>
</p><p>As if my dad is standing by my side, I felt his presence, like how he usually does whenever he notices me having a troubled mind. In my peripheral view, I vision him still wearing his favorite navy blue yukata.</p><p>
  <em>“Isn’t that’s the reason why you panicked?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What do you mean?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Would anyone be scared to lose someone if they don’t want them to be in their lives?”</em>
</p><p>The question was left hanging in the air when my focus was snatched by the boiling ramen soup. As its steam reached my face, my dad is no longer beside me.</p><hr/><p>It has been months since my first encounter with Oikawa and now we end up being friends, a stage I never knew we would ever be in. I scrolled through our old Line conversations while pondering how should I message him today. I wonder if he is alright, if he is studying right now, or perhaps lazing in his apartment. As I scroll, I unconsciously counted the number of Line stickers that he uses during our conversations, and even the usual sticker he uses.</p><p><em>“Hey, you up?” </em>9:00 am</p><p><em>“Don’t you dare forget to have your breakfast today. The last time I went there, I saw that you still have some stocks in your fridge.” </em>9:01 am</p><p>“<em>skip or else…”</em></p><p>While typing my third consecutive message, the speech balloon containing the ellipsis finally appeared along with Oikawa’s icon.</p><p><em>“Iwa-chan!! Good morning &lt;3 It’s so early and you are acting like a mom!! Are you missing the great Oikawa-san already?” </em>9:03 am</p><p>I was about to laugh but his comment about me being “like a mom” caught me off guard, it’s something that I shall not miss to refute.</p><p><em>“HUH?!! And what’s with being “early”, it’s already past 9 am. Anyone who is lazing wakes up later than 7 am.” </em>9:04 am</p><p>Oh, how I could imagine how this guy is laughing like an idiot right now, thinking that he always outwits me.</p><p><em>“I’M SORRY!! Before you end up hitting me virtually with your fist, here</em>” 9:06 am</p><p>Confused, I waited for the message that he was typing since the speech balloon came out again. After a few seconds, a photo loaded. The annoying idiot just sent a selfie of him doing *<em>akanbe</em>. And just like that, like an idiot, I chuckled out of disbelief.</p><p>For the past few months that we’ve spent together, I learned that he enjoys doing the gesture like a kid. In a time when he wants to taunt or tease, he will suddenly do it but only when he’s talking to me or Hanamaki, and rarely with Matsukawa. I barely saw him converse comfortably outside our group, though he can converse casually to anyone – something I truly admire about him since I can’t.</p><p>Looking at his selfie carefully, I noticed the few bed hair stuck out to the side of his head, and his messy fringes. His eyes still look watery which I assume is because he just woke up, and a few crystals had formed on the corner of his eyes.</p><p><em>“at least, wash your face or fix your hair first before sending a selfie. You look like a person where a bird’s nest popped out of your head” </em>9:08 am</p><p><em>“IWA-CHAN! THAT’S SO MEAN!! WHAT ABOUT YOU?! SEND ONE TOO! :P” </em>9:09 am</p><p><em>“Nope.” </em>9:09 am</p><p>A voice calling out for me from the outside of my bedroom’s sliding door made me jolt. My face relaxed from an idiotic smile I didn’t know that I wore while looking at Oikawa’s selfie.</p><p>
  <em>Had I been smiling the whole time?</em>
</p><p>“Hajime, a guy named Matsukawa Issei is outside. He said that he is your friend.”</p><p>Panicking that she may suddenly come in and see me smiling weirdly on my phone, I clicked random buttons on my screen and a few buttons on my phone; the app finally closed.</p><p>“Oh, yes. He is a friend!”</p><p>“Okay, then I’ll let him in.”</p><hr/><p>“Hey.” Matsukawa greeted plainly. On his right hand, he holds an eco bag with some stuff in it. We headed straight to my room and there he started to pull out the stuff from his eco bag.</p><p>“So… since when did-…”</p><p>“Well, she went back months ago but I don’t know until when will she stay here. You know, she rarely stays here.” The words came out fast from me, and so, I felt bad for cutting Matsukawa’s sentence.</p><p>“Oh. I see but, I mean since when did you start having an interest in crocheting?” I saw how his lips slightly twitched but his eyes’ expressions didn’t change.</p><p>“J-just this week! I just happened to start a liking on it. I have nothing to do extracurricular so, having a hobby looks good. Luckily, I have a friend I know who does it so, yeah… Here we are now.”</p><p>“Uh-huh… Well, if that’s what you say.” He answered while opening his crochet hook case. His eyes became serious as he chooses which hooks to use.</p><p>“You don’t sound convinced.”</p><p>“Eh???” he said blatantly, “Anyways, as requested I brought red yarn threads, and for a beginner, 3mm is just right to practice dexterity.”</p><p>“Thanks!”</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Damn it.</em>
</p><p>I never knew crocheting is not that easy, the videos I saw doing this made it look easy! My fingers are getting stiff while my mind is like these threads –  they are intertwining like hell. Matsukawa is a patient teacher so I don’t feel any pressure but memorizing the crochet terms is still confusing.</p><p>
  <em>Loop? Yarn over? Single crochet? Double crochet? Magic knot?! I’m still trying to grasp the proper tension for the thread and still figuring out the most comfortable way to hold the hook.</em>
</p><p>“You look like a gorilla that is about to explode.”</p><p>“EXCUSE ME?” I can’t believe this bastard will drop his usual teasings at this moment.</p><p>“Don’t worry, you’ll get through it after practicing for a few months.”</p><p>“A few months?! That won’t be enough! That’s too long – …”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>I saw a faint smirk from him while his eyes are still looking straight at me. This bastard continued to crochet without even looking at it.</p><p>
  <em>I can’t believe this quiet guy can be a show-off. Stop looking at me as if lowkey showing off how good you are at it. I’m a beginner! A beginner!!</em>
</p><p>“If you plan to crochet something for a special someone then you should become more patient about it. Enjoy the process. It’s not about how fast you could finish it, it’s all about how you will intertwine and interlock the threads. It’s fascinating to witness how these simple threads become something more valuable than what they were. I’m sure that someone will feel that from your crochet project.”</p><p>
  <em>Matsukawa Issei, a quiet guy. A friend of mine since middle school who hates speaking too much or so I think… Did he just say those words? Did he just preach more than 2 sentences?</em>
</p><p>“What?” he asked – hands still busy creating chains.</p><p>“N-nothing.”</p><p>“Somehow, you’re an open book to me. If this is for O-…”</p><p>A knock from the sliding door cut his words – thankfully. <em>She </em>brought us snacks and after that, immediately left the room. The previous topic was left hanging as we continued for a few more hours of crocheting.</p><p>“Let’s meet up again after a week. Well, tell me ahead of time if it will be in your apartment or here. Just practice making your chains when you’re free so, we can start doing single, double, and triple crochets. I’ll be leaving my stuff here. And, I forgot to mention, I brought every paper I found at home that has turquoise in them. Seriously, these days you are having an interest in random things. Is this what happens if you rest from playing Volleyball? I guess we need to play again anytime soon.”</p><p>“You talk a lot for someone quiet. Is this what happens when you start to date? Anyways, thanks for today, I do appreciate it. I’ll make sure to treat you next time.”</p><p>"Cheese-filled Hamburg Steak."</p><p>"Yeah fine."</p><p>As Matsukawa was already changing to his outdoor shoes, a shy voice called on to us.</p><p>“Oh my, why don’t you stay and have dinner with us?”</p><p>Subtly I looked at him in the corner of my eyes, hoping my message will be conveyed to him. It seems that he understood it. He smiled gently before answering.</p><p>“Auntie, it’s fine. I already received a message from home that dinner is already waiting for me. Maybe next time, I’ll have my dinner here when I visit again.”</p><p>“Oh, I see. Be safe on your way home.” Then she went back to the tatami room; wooden wares and chopsticks being arranged on the low table can be heard faintly.</p><p>“Iwaizumi.”</p><p>I looked with confusion to Matsukawa, who have already opened the front door.</p><p>“Threads form into something more valuable when they are intertwined but be careful not to overlook any gaps nor any unnecessary knot in the pattern. That would make the finished project awful despite the time you spent on crocheting it. Good thing that crochet is quite forgiving, we can still unravel what we did wrong without cutting the threads. We can still fix the pattern and continue again until we see our desired project come into life. Take note of that, see ya.”</p><hr/><p>That week, I was able to do my chains decently. I didn’t spend much time with Oikawa because I wanted to master this within a week despite Matsukawa’s words. Perhaps, the luck goddess was with me that week so I was able to improve my dexterity. I hold myself from meeting Oikawa because I don’t want him to see me practicing this, there will only be two outcomes to that. First, he will surely annoy me while practicing, and second, he will ask questions about it.</p><p>After that week, the luck goddess seems to still favor me for I was able to understand and make the different crochets that Matsukawa thought me. And as to why am I doing this, I am planning to make a pet collar for Oikawa’s cat. I know it's such an unusual surprise gift when I can give a better crochet project but I don't know, my guts just kept on saying that this is what I want to give. It was also that week when I had this conversation with Oikawa through Line.</p><p>
  <em>“Have you eaten already?” read 8:00 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oi! Oikawa!” 8:14 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oikawa-san.”8:20 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s weird. This guy would immediately reply to my messages like he was always waiting for it. It’s been 10 minutes since my last chat. He only checked the first one too. Maybe he’s busy? Did something happen to him and his phone was left open? Wait. Am I being too impatient? Hmm… Maybe I should just call him?</em>
</p><p>I was about to call him when the speech balloon containing ellipses started to show up again.</p><p>
  <em>“I’m sorry. And I really miss you so much. There was never a day that I never thought about you. I still regret it. I can’t believe that you are not here anymore. I don’t know if you are happy right now but I hope that you would stop worrying about me. ” 8:35 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Uhm? Is this not supposed to be sent to me or ???</em>
</p><p>The message containing an unusual feeling from the usually lively Oikawa was deleted 2 minutes after it was sent. Another speech balloon appeared.</p><p>
  <em>“IWA-CHAN!! Oh my! the message before was a mistake! :P Forget about that if you were able to read it HAHAHAHA” 8:37 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And yes, I already ate!” 8:38 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How about you? I haven’t seen you in weeks, I kind of miss your nostrils flaring out whenever I tease you hehe :P” 8:38 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What have you been up to these days? Don’t tell me that you found a better Oikawa-san :’(“ 8:39 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Idiot-kawa. I was just too busy these past few weeks. To make it up for you, let's meet this Friday after class? Your place or mine?” sent 8:40 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Mine ;)” 8:40 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay, then that’s settled. I’ll bring snacks and the new game that I bought.” sent 8:40 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Clothes too!!!” 8:41 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“HUH?!” sent 8:41 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I mean, stay over the weekends. You said that you’re making up for me, right? RIGHT?? Then let’s spend the weekends together :p That means you need clothes, you naughty Iwa-chan (&gt;w&lt;)” 8:42 pm</em>
</p><p>After a few more random topics we end up talking about his cat.</p><p>
  <em>“You know, your eyes remind me of my cat, Kai-chan. She just has yellow eyes.” 10:30 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Btw how old is Kai-chan, right now?” sent 10:30 pm</em>
</p><p>It took him a few minutes before he was able to reply.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“She’s about 3 years old.” 10:35 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How does she looks like? Tell me more since I haven’t seen her yet.” sent 10:36 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She has this beautiful bluish-gray fluffy fur. Her eyes look like yours! :P They are big but not rounded. It’s like she’s always angry HAHAHAHA Sometimes she looks like she’s angry at me but at home, she is the closest friend that I have &lt;3 Too bad I can't bring her here.” 10:39 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I see. I hope to see her one day though. Does she have a collar?” sent 10:40 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Idk what’s with you having so much interest with my baby, Iwaizumi-san. No, she doesn’t have a collar yet (-_+)” 10:41 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oikawa-san, I am just curious. Are you implying something? What’s with that emoji?!” sent 10:42 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You know it’s getting late, Iwaizumi-san. (=_=)” 10:43 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Kuso-kawa what the hell? Are you – What’s with calling me with my surname?! Are you angry?” sent 10:43 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, you like Iwa-chan more?? (OwO)!!” 10:44 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“NO! I mean it’s not like that!!” 10:44 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oikawa-san is sleeping zzZzzZzZzz” 10:44 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oi Oikawa! Oikawa Tooru!” sent 10:45 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“WhaAAAAaAAAAAaaAt?” 10:45 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Goodnight :) “ sent 10:45 pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Pfft. GOODNIGHT IWA-CHAN &lt;3” 10:45 pm</em>
</p><p>And with those childish bickerings, I prepared to sleep with a silly smile. Not caring about whatever might happen in the coming days.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Note: I was initially planning to make this 5K &amp; this wasn't supposed to be the chapter title but because I don't want to further delay this work, I only made it around 3K. I tried my best to remember the important details that should be in this chapter &amp; omitted some details. I even end up reading the whole work (again) just to make sure I don't mess up any timeline or details. I decided that the other half of this will be in the next chapter (hopefully another update after 5-7days). This was supposed to be angsty but idk how I end up with a fluff ending lol. I tried my best, forgive me if it's cheesy or nah.</p><p>Terms:<br/>*Carnation - is a common flower that blooms around late spring to midsummer (which is the season in this chapter). Its meaning varies to the color that it has. Yep, I ain't explaining that detail here :P But here's a hint, all of them matter to this chapter but one color holds a bittersweet meaning to someone.</p><p>*Crochet - or "small hook" which is a process to make textiles or things by interlocking yarns or threads by a single small hook. Yep, the Mattsun of this universe can crochet.</p><p>*Flower Arranging - what I'm pertaining to here is the ancient Japanese flower arranging, "Ikebana". This started as offerings to Buddhist temples in the 7th century when Buddhism was introduced in Japan. Later on, they became art decoratives in Japanese homes that hold a spiritual process that develops the designer to be close to nature &amp; have inner peace. It has different principles &amp; important things, like angles, to follow when doing it. Each component also holds a meaning (this is the detail I removed from this chapter which idk yet if I should still add to this work).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>